fuiste, yo sé que estás buscando tu futuro, y que yo, viviendo con mi mamá y a
veces sin plata, sin trabajar, etc. no te demostraba que podiamos hacer un
futuro juntos. Tal vez fué que los dos nos quedamos esperando. Esperando que el
otro diera muestras de comenzar a trabajar por la relación, y ninguno de los dos
dió un primer paso. Señor, a mi me quito todos los sueños y esperanzas lo que
sucedió en USA y por eso lo que hice fué sentarme a esperar, a esperar que las
cosas se calmaran porque todavia lo amaba mucho y que volvieran a ser como
antes, pero la marea ya estaba revuelta y sucedia cosa tras cosa que yo no
entendí, y cada vez que trataba de levantarme otra ola me ahogaba, con esto le
quiero decir que yo necesitaba motivación, tal vez era un error mio depender de
Ud. para motivarme, pero fué asi.
tener 30 años y no “demostrar” que tengo mucho que ofrecer, pero si lo tengo
señor, se lo aseguro y cuando Ud. también tenga que ofrecer llameme señor, lo
amo y quiero pasar el resto de mi vida con Ud. Quiero volver a sentir que somos
uno solo, quiero volver a soñar junto con Ud. en un hogar para los dos, quiero
sentir la paz que sentia cuando estabamos juntos, quiero volver a besar sus
labios, quiero volver a sentir como se endurecen sus pectorales, quiero volver a
sentir como me ama. Cuando trabáje, cuando sea independiente, cuando no dependa
de nadie sino solo de Ud. mismo busqueme para tener la casa juntos esa casa que
quizimos algun día tener, yo no daré nada de gratis, nunca lo hize y nunca lo
haré, pero si compartiré todo con Ud. cuando Ud. pueda compartir lo suyo
conmigo.
realidad, ya nuestros caminos, al menos por ahora, agarraron distintos sentidos.
Ahora algo importante para mi es que tu logres lo que quieres, y que le saques
provecho a la situación en que te encuentras ahora, sé que eres feliz, pero, y
voy a ser sincero contigo… Luis David es feliz, lo mantiene Freddy, pero Luis
David no ha aprovechado lo que Freddy le puede ofrecer, claro, si viaja, si come
en los mejores restaurantes, pero no ha tratado de buscar su independecia, y va
a seguir atado a Freddy, y el día que eso se acabe, va a tener que buscarse otro
o devolverse a Cabudare. Ud. va a estudiar, va a trabajar, va a madurar, lo
apoyo señor, eso es lo que yo siempre quize, y quiero que en realidad lo haga
para que Ud. no dependa de nadie más nunca y no haga las cosas porque las tiene
hacer que y no le queda más remedio sino porque quiere. Porque yo sé que Ud. se
fué porque tenia que hacerlo, pero le dolió porque me amaba tanto o más de como
yo lo amo.
que yo iba a estar a su lado, y todavia lo estoy señor, se lo juro que todavia
lo estoy. Estoy aqui esperando por Ud. para que cuando Ud. tenga otra vez
libertad para amarme, yo lo amaré, para que cuando Ud. consiga libertad
economica yo también la tendré, para que cuando Ud. quiera formar un hogar yo lo
formaré con Ud.
esto,
si Ud. tiene amor para mi yo lo tengo
para Ud.
si Ud. tiene tiempo para mi yo lo tengo
para Ud.
si Ud. tiene dinero para mi yo lo tengo
para Ud.
si Ud. tiene futuro para mi yo lo tengo
para Ud.
si Ud. tiene sueños conmigo yo los
tengo con Ud.
si Ud. me odia yo también lo
odiaré
cuando amo, lo hago para siempre, y yo lo amo, no hay discusión y quiero que eso
lo tenga bien claro, no tengo la más minima duda que mi amor por Ud. no se
marchitará pronto, seguiré haciendo mi vida, y seguiré estando ahi, solo le pido
que sea sincero conmigo, sé que a veces es muy dificil, pero para mi es
la mayor muestra de amor, tal vez lo regañe, tal vez diga algo feo, pero nunca
lo voy a dejar de amar, y siempre volveré a Ud. volveré porque pertenece a mi
vida y eso nunca nadie ni nada lo va a poder cambiar. El que Ud. no sea sincero
conmigo me haria sentir que solo soy uno más, que no soy especial, y Ud. siempre
me hizo sentir especial porque solo a mi me decia tantas cosas, solo en mi ha
confiado así, y eso es una muestra de amor que puede continuar dandome aunque
nos separe la distancia.
necesite o cuando se le ocurra, estoy aqui para Ud. como siempre lo he estado a
pesar de todo, SIEMPRE lo he estado, y SIEMPRE lo estaré, no importa tiempo, no
importa distancias, no importa nada, SIEMPRE estaré para Ud. porque lo
amo.
que es suyo y solo suyo…
:(
I went out tonight. Ended my 3 days of fasting (juicing) and went out. Had some fun, specially after I drank the bull with vodka. Gave me tons of energy to dance a LOT. But i couldn’t keep my mind from my ex… OMG .. I miss him soo much.. I wanna cry.. I love him .. and I’m scared.. cause .. like.. it’s so hard for me to get close to people.. and i wanna be close to someone… I miss being able to love.. and I wish i could still be loving him .. cause he was a great guy.. i apologize for have been such a crappy boyfriend.. 🙁
It sucks.. but seems like .. I will never be happy.. I was at the club and I was about to start crying a couple times..
but well.. he moved on and he’s happy now..
i missed my chance ..
now… on the fucking quest to find nothing.. and feel nothing..
well.. i feel better now..
what the fuck with the ..
..
😛
License
I’m beginning to like Australia a lot. Yesterday I went to customs, there was NO lines, it was a very clean and nice building with people very friendly and accommodating. They promised they were gonna check my boxes tomorrow and they did, called me on the cellphone and in a very friendly way told me everything was alright and they will fax the paperwork and set it all ready so I don’t have to go back to the city.
Also today I went to get my drivers license. I made an appointment YESTERDAY !! to go today (unbelievable), and I got there.. Nice building clean office, nice, well dressed people no bad smells… arrived, had to wait for like 5 mins got the test done, I forgot to bring my contacts but they said it was okay, but I would need to wear them while driving. Did the test, and got a drivers license for 10 YEARS .. 10 Fricking years.. OMG .. Sooo easy .. so fast.. I wish life was always like this..
Tomorrow I’m renting a car to drive somewhere west of Melbourne to pick up the boxes.
serve this to remsmbeR why I hate the church
Apologies Needed?
As an Ex-Jesuit, on behalf of the
Roman Catholic Church:
To all those tortured, imprisoned, murdered
in the name of “Orthodoxy”
For the Inquisition, I apologize.
For all the Latin American Cultures
wiped out, suppressed, brutalized
In the name of Christian Dogmas,
your forgiveness I beg.
To the Gnostic-heretics whose
alternative “mystical” perspectives
were declared the work of the devil,
May I help many rediscover your teachings1
To the great Greek Thinkers
Presented as rational philosophers
I grieve that your “mystical” writings2
were destroyed by the Bishops of the Church3
To the scholars/sages/students of the Florentine
Renaissance (15th century), who rediscovered/promulgated
the ancient teachings of the Hermetic Tradition,4
yet were crushed by the Roman Catholic Church
with the aid of the King of France,
I weep for your sufferings/suppression.
Thank God for your survival!
To the North American Indian tribes
whose conversion meant more than your wisdom
I sponsor sweatlodges in your honor
and prayers for forgiveness.
To all Scientists who dared challenge the
authority of the Church and suffered greatly.
As an ex-Jesuit, I plead for understanding:
“We knew not what we were doing.”
To all the women of the world
Incredibly SUPPRESSED by the Catholic Church
May your original role become known again!5
Congrats to Saint Mary Magdalene
To Consciousness Who allowed all this to occur
– and more
Help us to see through the Drama of forms
And realize that there is no need for
forgiveness, grieving, apologies.
For it was Consciousness Itself doing it all!
How grasp this?6
mmm.. I have nothing to write about.. Nothing at all… I’v
mmm.. I have nothing to write about.. Nothing at all…
I’ve just been playing Far Cry for the past few days. I should, I should, I should be doing this.. I should be doing that, there’s so many things I should be doing. I shouldn’t feel bad that I procastrinate.. like.. if noone procastrinated everyone would be fucking millionaire Einstein, don’t you think.
I’ve been sorta going out from time to time with different guys that I’ve met on the gay.com and in IRC. Nothing much has been acomplished by it though. Although I’ve had a nice time.. i guess.. so it’s not all that bad.
My friend’s Roelo’s dog got hit by a car. It’s something that I thought it was going to happen, cause it’s been getting out the house to the street a bunch lately. It was not killed though, and seems it’s gonna be okay.
Guy #3921787
Today I met Brent. He is a phsycologist. Divorced. Father of one child.
After we went out for a coffee, we chatted for a while.
[21:21] Brent: you’re cute
[21:22] Brent: you’re hardly ignorant
[21:26] Brent: you’re a very good looking guy Luis
[21:26] Brent: you are
[21:54] Brent: you’re easy going
[22:21] Brent: you’re cute
[22:21] Brent: and spunky too
[22:28] Brent: you are very attractive
[22:30] Brent: i like your look
[22:31] Brent: dark
[22:31] Brent: nice smile
[22:31] Brent: great eyes
[22:40] Brent: how hung r u?
[22:41] Brent: me 7″ cut
[22:43] Brent: so you gonna tell me?
[22:44] Brent: you look well proportioned
[22:44] Brent: i like your look
[22:45] Brent: how hung r u?
[22:47] Brent: you are playing tough with me
[22:47] Brent: i amasking because I like you
[22:50] Brent: i think you are cute Luis
[23:26] Brent: I liked you today
[23:26] Brent: and think you are cute
[23:26] Brent: love to explore further
[23:26] Brent: thats al
[23:29] Brent: need a cuddle?
[23:29] pizzaman: mmm.. maybe a laxative
[23:29] pizzaman: *giggles*l
err.. I kinda think he likes me.
OMG, I had DEATH BY CHOCOLATE cake.. and a Mango & Passion fruit smoothie and a Mochaccino and at home I had pita bread with Nutella… I think I’m going to die tonight of sugar overdose.
Hey.. u guys got all nice things.. :(
Hey.. u guys got all nice things.. 🙁
Hello!??
Like I was thinking.. I’ve always thought that I’m good choosing people, like who I hang out with and stuff.. but.. like.. I think I’m totally the opposite. About what happened yesterday, I mean… I guess the guy was a nice person and all, but hello !!!… so many guys that seems sorta normal that want to fuck me senseless and I have to go out with the weirdest one.
Weird
Today I went out with some guy. I met him thru gay.com and he has been sorta pushing me to go out. He’s sorta weird. He wanted to come to my place, but I definitely said no way. So we went for a walk and I had dinner, a yummy tandoori chicken pizza. He talked about how this higher power has talked to him and given him the wisdom. He also rubbed my leg a bunch of times and wanted to hug me. Which I declined. He talked about how this divine figure have told him about “The Truth”, but I kinda forgot to asking what the truth was about.. gee.. I would suck if like god appeared and shit, cause I would only ask dumb questions, like “would you like chicken or beef”..
Well.. after denying him a hug he got kinda disappointed and the conversation went a bit sour, with him obsessing that I was a secluded hermit, and I affirming that I was protecting myself from the evilness of the world. He was a smelly, bearded, blue-eyed Aussie around 55 yrs old and a little bit of overweight. Nice fellow.
He was very interesting to talk to, I don’t usually get intelligent people to talk to, that are interested in the things I have to say. Which most of the time is nonsense anyways.
We covered the topics of Jesus Christ marriages (he said JC had 3, and he did not planted the seed in MM). He also told me how he discovered that the Carbon14 technique that is used to date fossils is innacurate and he wanted to talk with archaeologists in the Smithsonian museum in Washington, DC about it but they didn’t listened (I wonder why). He also told me, and I’m sorry if I’m revealing this on the Internet for the first time ever, that there is a new disease currently spreading on the world that will take over AIDS as soon as they find a cure for it.
It’s cool to have connections high above. I wonder when are they releasing Manhunt 2, wow.. I might ask him next time.
(I am not making anything of this up, this is true story of what happened to me today)
Gay.com
spunkboi25: great looks!
pizzamanauthor: nice pic of ..
pizzamanauthor: OMG
pizzamanauthor: that’s your willy
spunkboi25: lol
spunkboi25: what natio r u dude
spunkboi25: your very attractive
pizzamanauthor: Venezuelan, with Australian & American in me
spunkboi25: do you speak spanish
pizzamanauthor: cause they were ex’s
pizzamanauthor: Yeah
spunkboi25: hola como estas
spunkboi25: yo estoy muy caliente
pizzamanauthor: Hola, bien y tú ?
spunkboi25: lol
spunkboi25: what r u into mate
spunkboi25: do you like spanish cock
spunkboi25: where about r u
pizzamanauthor: Eres español ?
spunkboi25: si
pizzamanauthor: South Yarra
spunkboi25: cool
pizzamanauthor: ando buscando amigos, no sexo
spunkboi25: do you have your own place
pizzamanauthor: yeah
spunkboi25: ok
spunkboi25: love to fuck around with you dude
pizzamanauthor: errr..
pizzamanauthor: but ..
pizzamanauthor: like..
spunkboi25: if u change your mind let me know.
pizzamanauthor: i just want friends..
spunkboi25: not a vovk
spunkboi25: cock?
pizzamanauthor: nope..
spunkboi25: lol
pizzamanauthor: i have one already…
spunkboi25: cool.
spunkboi25: how big?
pizzamanauthor: 7.5
spunkboi25: nice
spunkboi25: cool, i must find a cock to play with
spunkboi25: ciao
pizzamanauthor: awww
pizzamanauthor: will you be my friend if i let u gimme head ?
spunkboi25: lol
spunkboi25: r u bi or gay
pizzamanauthor: gay ..
spunkboi25: r u straight acting
spunkboi25: in the scene
pizzamanauthor: I’m so straight acting, I sometimes confuse myself
spunkboi25: lol