Disease of the day !! MOD

Male orgasmic disorder

Male orgasmic disorder is
persistent or recurrent involuntary delay in orgasm and ejaculation or the
inability of the man to have orgasm. (Note: This is sometimes confused with
retrograde ejaculation—a condition in which the man ejaculates into his bladder
instead of out through the urethra. Retrograde ejaculation is common in
gay men and may be related to fears of infection believed to be brought on by
“safer sex” campaigns.)

Causes and treatment of male orgasmic

  • The cause is rarely physical and
    rather is associated with a traumatic sexual experience, strict religious
    upbringing, hostility, overcontrol, or lack of trust.

  • Psychological exploration and
    counseling is the indicated treatment.

Friend’s rooster!

Well, today was rather interesting. Although I should be sleeping because tomorrow I’m getting a EEG done I am not, I was reading that they might reduce your sleep the night before just cause they might ask you to sleep for a lil but during the test so, well, let’s say I’m gonna be more than able to do that if I’m asked to.

It started like any other day, waking up at 4:30 PM and chatting with for a little while, then Luis Luis called me and asked me if I wanted to go to the car tunning expo thing, which is not exactly my cup of tea but, I enjoy (or don’t) pretty much anything (except the things that I firmly don’t enjoy, like family gatherings for example) so I ended up going there, it was already closed so we ended up eating pizza at this place we usually go. He talked about a lot of different things, incluing how complicated was his financial situation, since he has to partly support his mom and dad. There were a lot of things that I wasn’t that much aware of and caught me by surprise. I really wish he keeps working on his dreams because from what I’ve seen he’s a hard working guy that can acomplish what he puts his heart on.

After that we came home, we were checking things on the computer when I grabbed his HPV (Human Papilloma Virus) request for examination (his girlfriend got checked and they found out she had HPV so they gave him a note to call an urologist). We started to talk about that and I told him that I was going to call the urologist on monday to get appointments for us both (not like we have sex but I haven’t gotten my cock touched in such a long time that I might enjoy a doctor’s gentle touch). While we were talking he told me that he had developed some lesions on his penis, to which I replied “I want to see”. He was not really reluctant, he was just shy about it, but I insisted.

Okay, okay … I wanted to see his cock badly, I’m guilty. I’ve had the hots for him for a while, so I manipulated the situation to my advantage and used the “Im gonna play the doctor as an excuse to see his cock”. BUT … I was honestly trying to help, I got so nervous about it that it made my whole body shake. I felt confused, and excited (as in eager.. :P). Funny that after I saw his cock, and I stared at it for a little while, I couldn’t really remember much about it. I had so many mixed emotions, one part of me was afraid, of the whole VPH thing, which I know it’s not a big deal in the end, just one more scar of war, but.. you know.. I rather not get it, just cause of touching a cock. So I didn’t really got to touch it. One part of me was playing the doctor, the most that I remember about the whole deal are lesions, which in reality are nothing really noticeable, just a couple small amorphous patches (0.5 cms) of darker skin. Thinking about the treatment and what could the doctor do. One part of me was enjoying the smell, you know the smell of a cock that hasn’t been washed in a few hours (and knowing him, maybe more than a few hours) which wasn’t really too intense, but intense enuff, partly erotic, partly musky, partly ewwie. One part of me wanted to see it grow, and become all it can be. One part of me wanted to dive in and suck at it and get it hard. I guess all those thoughts crossed my mind while I was staring at my friend’s cock.

The most erotic part of it all was undressing him, pushing him on the bed so he laid flat, and opening his belt. To which I thought he was going to stop me, but he didn’t. Then opening the button of his jeans. I was swallowing hard at that point, and watching at his white undies, and thinking OH MY GOD, I’m about to see what’s behind them. Pulling his undies down, and looking at his cock in all it’s glory. While him holding it, I was really close, looking at it. Getting intoxicated with the sexual smells.

Damn, this made me think about , and the fact that I felt so embarrased about sucking him off while he was sleeping that I never really made a post about it all, and about all the other sexual activities that happened at night, while he was far far away in la la land. I definetely need to write about that.

I spent the night in a hotel

You never know how the night is gonna end. Take today for example. Went out to eat, had a nice arepa with pernil and yellow cheese (don’t ask), and suddenly after a phone call I was in a hotel room. With whom you might ask? of course with LL and his friend.

Her dad went bezerk and wanted to kill the whole family, so they were spending the night at a hotel room. Don’t you love family drama, it’s like living in this Jerry Springler show where people don’t understand that they don’t need to pull a gun to scare off your kids ?.. for crying out loud they are your family and you are showing how uncivilized and how trashy you are.

Internet charm

These few days without internet had made realize how much my life revolves around it. I couldn’t check my bank, couldn’t play online games, couldn’t chat, couldn’t read my mail. Another thing it made me realize is how important my friends are to me. Charmed called me a lot and that was uber cool. As usual we talked for hours which for me has always been one of those life pleasures. It’s amazing how much I love that guy and how important he is for me. Yeah, well maybe I like him a little bit too much. But ohh well, these things make life interesting.

It’s funny … very funny indeed.


On moday I’m going to my 3rd appointment with a psychiatrist. I initially started going because I thought I might have ADD. Seems he is rather leaning to depression, which is rather obvious that I have. I was already diagnosed with it back in Miami and I didn?t wanted to follow thru with the drug treatment ( due to the sexual side effects it had on me ).

It’s funny how for the longest time I’ve put up with whatever I’ve had. Like that runny nose that u have, and you know you have, but you tend to forget about it and focus your energies on something else.

For so many years, so many people have told me to seek help. I’m not sure why, maybe cause I’m different, maybe unique, excentric perhaps or maybe just plain weird. The thing is that I’m mostly unhappy with events in my life.

I find it rather interesting that I read so many posts in LJ from people that are rather happy from the help that drugs are giving them in their day to day lives, I wonder myself would this work ? would this time things be different ? and I ask myself … What am I looking for? … I .. want to .. be happy ! not all the time.. but I wanna be able to enjoy.. the things that are enjoyable, to be excited that LL are here, sitting besides me while I write this, but I am not, I?m emotionless ? I think.. what am I feeling? well not much.

On moday I’ll get and EEG done and if everything works out fine, he will prescribe me something. I’m not particularly interested in taking drugs, I.. just wanna be normal, so people can love me.


So… This last week has been rather interesting, Internet was cut cause I forgot to pay the bill on time (yay me) and they took a whole week to reactivate it. For almost everyday my ex’s lil brother has been coming over. He’s such a cool kid, plenty of principles, good intentions, smart, funny, cute. I’ve known him for the last ~6 years or so, and ever since we met we’ve been able to communicate rather well. Since I came back to Venezuela he has made the effort to hang out with me (this always shows me the interest someone has to be my friend), and we’ve hit it pretty well. What I find rather uncomfy is that he’s one of those guys that has a lot of sex appeal, so from time to time I see him with desire.

We play around a lot, computer games, boxing, wrestle. I try not to have those yummy thoughts all the time and I think I accomplish it really well, but I find it rather hard to erase them completely from my mind.

I ask myself. He labels himself as straight and even thought I might have my own thoughts about that, I respect that. I doubt that if he wasn’t we could have a relationship, just starting with the age difference and experience. So I really shouldn’t even be considering it.

I wonder how does other people deal with these situations, having someone close that you enjoy being with but liking him a lil bit too much ?


Damn.. Lately I’ve been quite busy. Seems like if it’s not one person it’s another one, but I’ve been going out almost everyday. Sunday with Peter to the mall, Monday with LL to another mall, and today with Jose Octavio (one of ‘s closest friends). It’s been okay. Had fun on Sunday with Peter, it’s been a while I haven’t shared stuff with him so it’s reinvigorating to realize that the chemistry is still there. I guess that’s why I hold on to some people so hard, cause it feels so comfy to be with someone you know so well.

Monday was interesting, I always have fun with LL. He’s a lot younger and I feel like his big brother, and I like that feeling, the feeling that I have something to share. He likes me a lot too, which is very cool. I loved it when he gave me some candy he bought for me and said “we’re alike”. We have many things in common and many attitudes that we share, besides we enjoy doing some stuff which might not be considered appropriate for an adult like me 😛 *fuck you, If you though I’m old*. He also mentioned that he would like to have a girlfriend with my zodiac sign. Made me feel <3ed. Today it was José Octavio's day. I felt somewhat comfy with him, but we have never really shared stuff in person so still was a little bit awkward, but he hitted it pretty well. We had so many things to talk about, and we just scraped the surface. Main topic of course , along with everything under the sun, including medicine, love, sex and food.

Yesterday I felt kinda frustrated. Like.. I wanna give this present to my best friend, yeah yeah .. you know .. that guy I like a lot.. and like.. we’re very close and stuff.. but like… well.. u know.. and like.. I’ve been trying to move things to get things going so I can achieve the status of present-hood, but like.. It kinda takes time, cause the bank and the stuff and the billing address and all that.. and it kinda pisses me off that I can’t move things faster, so I can make him happy, I just wanna see those whitey whites shine. I messed yesterday though, I entered the wrong address in some stuff, so I’m gonna have to change it again and it will take a few more days. I just can’t wait.

Today I went to the psychiatrist, yeah.. well.. after the last paragraph you know I need one. Well, nice guy, I was scared it was going to be an grumpy old man, but seemed like a very smart guy. We discussed about ADD, depression and mercury. He didn’t seemed very convinced about the ADD thing, but he seemed pretty open about everything else, which included mercury, so that pleased me. Time went by pretty fast, we talked about boyfriends, family, diseases, and all that.. was cool.

I’ve been way more motivated to do some stuff lately, seems that it motivates me when someone out there helps me focus energy on some things, like pinpointing the things that might help out if I worked on. Thanks to you. <3 u. Currently I'm working on: Getting dish network Getting charmed's mobile Going to the shrink Getting new glasses Should be working on: Getting documentation together to apply for USA visa. Getting Venezuelan ID card Project Getting a car?