I guess that I’ve always had my friends around. You know.. First the group from Montalban, after that Belen & Peter, and then Antonio, and LA and then in college Delia and my roomates.. So In reality I’ve only been alone for a little while, but it’s like in here I have NO ONE to talk with. I mean.. I can’t pick up the phone and call someone, cause I have noone to call.
Well.. like would say, stop sounding pathetic and self loathing and go out and make some friends.Geezz.. like if it was so easy. :p
I’ve never had this feeling before, but now.. that I am working is the first time I’ve felt that I am wasting my life. It’s like my life revolves around the hotel, no friends, noone to talk to, noone to go out and have dinner with, I feel trapped. Trapped in the game of working to make a living while wasting your life trying to make a living. It’s NOT a happy feeling at all. Well.. maybe it’s just that today I’m depressed, or maybe I haven’t eaten right and my neurotrasmitters are on strike.
One thing I know is that I enjoy playing with puters all day .. but this office has no windows, and the buzz from the fans from the severs’ racks make my head spin. Am I going crazy?
I’m sad …
Haven’t eaten well for the last couple of days, have this buzz in my brain going, and realized that my life sucks and that what I really want will never have. How longer do I have to wait until I sleep the neverending sleep. There is no point in filling the voids with sillyness and shallow things. Happiness is beyond my grasp and the endless pit is where my soul is trapped.
Soo…. Yesterday I went to Tokyo, and I have to say that I was VERY impressed. I’ve seen many cities so far, and I expected Tokyo to be just a little of the same, Hype here and hype there to make an otherwise boring city something interesting to attract tourists. But Tokyo was awesome. Althought I didn’t got to visit it a LOT because most of what I did was riding the subway from one meeting to the next.
The highways are amazing and so many buildings everywhere, highways and buildings, and higways going around buildings like you can touch them. The subway system is HUGE. So many different things that I don’t know where to start from. It’s funny but what makes it most different I think is the lack of ability to read everything, I can manage reading Katakana now, it’s still slow but I can.
I need to go back and stay there for a couple of days.
Yep, it’s definite. Tomorrow I get to go to Tokyo. We will be on a meeting at 3 pm to discuss some web related issues. I’m happy I will finally get to go to Tokyo, actually I am very excited.
Sooo.. what’s new with my life you might ask..
Well.. let’s see.. I’ve been reading a little the XY survival guide for gay teens, it’s VERY good and packed with useful information. I think every gay teen should have one. It gives a very solid and not condescending view of many aspects of life.
At work I’ve been finally making hard drive backups of the wireless laptops we’re giving to the guests, so when times comes, i’ll be able to restore dead laptops backup in a second.
Also resseting the OS on another lappy. I need to set up the policies regarding usage of the guest laptops. Tomorrow or friday I might be going to Tokyo for some business meetings with the Hotel web page people.
I still need to learn more about Windows corporate licensing program, although it’s a bunch of crap.
I’m EXTREMELY happy to see that my LOVELY friend (I still love him deeply, just don’t tell him) is feeling somewhat better, and hopefully his nightmare will come to an end soon.
Saito san just dropped by in my office. He’s really kewl, he went with his son and daughter to Tokyo to a baseball game, the giants versus the tigers. We were commenting on what we did during the weekend.
I was telling him that i have a headache, the trip we did yesterday was very tiresome.
For lunch, the short and fat one cooked, she’s not the best cook at the cafeteria. I like the tall & skinny one better.