Routine

I wake up. Get hooked up [to the computer]. Wanna go out. Have nowhere to go. It’s scary out there. Go nothing to do. It’s safer locked inside. Only know few people. Don’t wanna call. People are too busy. Don’t wanna bother people. Nothing really interests me anyways. Feel hungry. Got nuthing to eat. Scared of going to the cafeteria. But really hungry. Haven’t eaten much. Take a bath. Noises in the room. Dry with the dry towel. Get dressed. Have to wear my protective gear. It takes time to prepare. Everything gotta be perfect or I might get hurt. Yet again. Didn’t met anybody. But hey.. Didn’t got hurt :). A new quest have been conquered. Come back. Lock the door. Get hooked up again. Time passes by. A new day went by. No friends. Only far away ones. Who don’t realize that I cannot be loved. Cause I have a nasty disease. Fungus growing out of my eyes and ears. Gotta die again. Only to be reborn next morning and relive the nasty routine of having no routine.


I wake up. Get hooked up [to the computer]{it’s my safe place}.
Wanna go out{Wanna be happy}.
Have nowhere to go{depression+lack of motivation}.
It’s scary out there{I might get hurt like when I was a kid}.
Go nothing to do{No energy}.
It’s safer locked inside{Least probable place where to get hurt by others}.
Only know few people{donesn’t have a lot of friends}.
Don’t wanna call{I have this nasty habit of not calling people cause I think I’m gonna bother them and they’re gonna cut me off}.
People are too busy{for me}.
Don’t wanna bother people. Nothing really interests me anyways{It’s safer this way or I might get hurt}.
Feel hungry{haven’t gone out}.
Got nuthing to eat{haven’t went to the market}.
Scared of going to the cafeteria{people can be nasty}.
But really hungry. Haven’t eaten much. Take a bath. Noises in the room{ghost?}.
Dry with the dry towel{clean towel=no pimples}.
Get dressed{so people approve how I dress, how I smell, what I wear and what I am}.
Have to wear my protective gear{to keep a safe distance from people}.
It takes time to prepare{so they cannot make fun of me}.
Everything gotta be perfect or I might get hurt. Yet again. Didn’t met anybody{I only focused on my plate}.
But hey.. Didn’t got hurt 🙂{course asshole, you didn’t talked with anyone}.
A new quest have been conquered{yay for you}.
Come back. Lock the door. Get hooked up again{here we go again}.
Time passes by. A new day went by. No friends. Only far away ones. Who don’t realize that I cannot be loved. Cause I have a nasty disease{i’m ugly}.
Fungus growing out of my eyes and ears{and dumb}.
Gotta die again{sleep}.
Only to be reborn next morning and relive the nasty routine of having no routine.{or being a depressed guy with PTSD}

Why?
I think cause I forgot to take my aminos this morning

Had classes today. Did an oral presentation about Triage. I

Had classes today. Did an oral presentation about Triage. I was kinda nervous. Last oral presentation, on thrusday, went a lot better. I was aggressive, specially at the questions my peers asked. They were intentionally silly questions, just for fun, but I answered them agressively and made them look dumb.

This week I start finals. I have to study hard to keep the good grades I have so far. Tomorry I have appointment with shrinky. I went to the mall and bout new red jeans and necklace, I had fun.

I’m currently chatting with my ex. He talks and talks about

I’m currently chatting with my ex. He talks and talks about him, his life, what he wants.. I’m glad for him and everything. But still it annoys me. And well.. usually when we talk, I’m just waiting to hear the part when he says what he wants, usually it’s money.

As much as I miss him, it needs EXTRA human endurance to still talk with him. Ohh… and the only time when he really talks is when he talks about him and what he wants. When it’s about something else his answers are monosyllables.