Wow… Hello Bruce, I’ve been wanting to talk with you for sooo long. You don’t know how happy you made me by replying to my message. There are so many things I want to tell you, that I just don’t know where to start.

As I told you in a previous message I have been, what I consider, a good friend of Nate for a long time. I’ve seen him grow up in many ways, stumble, get drunk, sad, depressed, happy, hopeless, joyful, you name it. All this throught the magic of internet. Our friendship started one day when I was reading a post he made in an online forum, he was very depressed. I replied and said I was his fairy and I was going to help him out of his sadness. Throught the years I kept my promise and we’ve shared sadness and joy many times.

About you. Bruce. You don’t know this, but I had the biggest crush on you ever since Nate told me about you, a few years ago when you guys first met, and because of that I knew you were perfect for Nate. At that point I never understood why Nate didn’t went forward with a relationship with you. So now, when you guys started talking back, and Nate told me you were having problems with your ex, I knew it was the perfect opportunity for you guys to have the perfect relationship and so I suggested Nate many times to pursue you as a boyfriend, which I’m very happy he did.

I know you guys were having communication problems. I know where the problems are coming from and I have a few ideas on how to solve them, but they are hard to solve. Because they need faith, not in god, but in each other. Nate is a good guy, I hope I can tell you one or two things about Nate’s personality. Maybe I don’t know him in person, but I know his brain thru the magic of internet. I know you are very scared of being hurt and betrayed, last time I was betrayed left me a scar and I haven’t had a boyfriend ever since, 7 years ago.

Honestly I can tell you Nate is not that kinda guy. He honestly wants to make things work with you. I know this. Although he needs freedom to be happy, and not freedom to cheat on you, that’s not what he’s looking for.. and you could ask, How do I know this? It’s simple, he wasn’t fucking around before he met you or before he was in a relationship with you, he has always been a guy looking for love and a stable relationship, so what he needs this freedom for? To be independant, to decide for himself, not feel trapped.

Really I understand you. I understand your fears. Nate is a wonderful guy, and you might feel afraid of losing him or maybe afraid of being hurt, or even afraid of being wrong. I’ve been there. My ex-ex, we’re still friends, and he always said that I was his policeman, because I filtered his friends, his emails, who he chats with or not. Overtime this caused him to feel trapped, he felt deprived of his freedom, (which he had before I became him captor), and eventually he ended up cheating to prove to himself he could do whatever he wanted. Sadly you can’t be everything for anyone. I wish you could, but people need others too.

I also understand that you might have suspected. You might ask yourself, “Why is he hiding things from me?”. “Why he doesn’t tell me everything”. Well, I’m sure he does tell you a fair bit, but always there are things we keep to ourselves. For example what Nate and me chat about. He might not have told you that when we chat, we chat about you two. About the relationship, about how to improve things, about his own fears and about how he feels. It’s normal, he is afraid too, and he needs to vent, he needs advice, he needs friends. I am sure you understand this, because you have friends too.

Well, I think this message is long enough as it is. How can we get to talk? Do you want me to call you? Do you use any IM? SMS ? Homing pigeon? Please let me know.

I miss Nate a great deal, please let him know.



yea i deleted your message and took you off the friends list. well me and nate has communication problems and he made it seem suspicious when he talked to you because he would hide it so i took you as a bad person and i didn’t like you but we talked about it and everything is cool and dont call him babe i dont like it mmmkk pumpkin. maybe me and you should talk and get to know each other a little more.


Maybe you are punishing him financially which is the only power you control by not helping him out anymore. When partly is your fault because you took him very young and never taught him how to be financially independant, you were happy just holding on to your control, even if you were and are in a meaningless relationship.


Had a little of an argument with R. He asked me to get him a shirt and then got upset because I didn’t find it fast enough. I sent him this email, I was kinda pissed off. “I’m really having a real hard time being calm and nice when you treat me so bad. I AM trying to do you a favour. I expect to be treated accordingly. I’m not stupid even if you seem to think so. I expect some respect and dignity which will help me greatly. I’m sure you’d had a horrible day and the stress is unbearable, I suggest using an alternate method of stress release.

Thanks “

IM Posting

Wow, I didn’t know I could post to my LJ from an IM, and there’s not only one but several ways of doing this. One is using their own jabber services, this is pretty cool for doing it on the road or when you’re too lazy to start a browser. At least my IM is always on.

Brisbane Tilt Shift

Brisbane Tilt Shift
Originally uploaded by mercurytoxic.

Tried a new technique called fake tilt shift with this old photo I took more than one month ago. I think it came out really well, although not outstanding,.

Got reply from the Chinese embassy, my visa was approved. Monday I’m going to pick it up and hopefully apply for the Taiwan visa as well. I’m pretty excited about going to Taiwan because a lot of big computer companies are from there.

Isooz has been down for a couple weeks now. After google closed my checkout account I haven’t been able to find another credit card payment processor. I’m not sure why it’s been so complicated. Well, I guess than since my business isn’t registered anywhere. I guess that I should start by registering it somewhere. I wonder if that’s prohibitively expensive. I will need to eventually fly to the USA and register my business there THEN we will rock and roll. Well, that will have to be the next year.

Since my bank (Netbank) was closed by the FDIC and ING Direct took over the accounts, now I’m trapped in the middle of this waiting for my ING Direct accounts to be accessible. I owe $25K that are just sitting there in my bank, unaccessible. People are getting upset and I don’t have enough money in Australia to pay them. Very stupid banks.


Originally uploaded by mercurytoxic.

Last week went with Paul hunting for a train station, Spring Bluff near Murphy’s Creek. It was a nice trip although nothing overly earth shattering. We talked a lot. Learned a few interesting things about his life. About his childhood and early adulthood. It’s always cool to get to know people. I guess I was selfish though, when he asked me about my life, I made out this story about me being a murderer and running from the FBI. I commented my house mate on that and he scalded me and told me I lost the chance of sharing about my life. I was just trying to be funny though. I’m always too serious when it comes to talking about stuff, plus I didn’t felt like being so straightforward about myself. I tend to be very transparent, and sometimes that scares people. I know I would be scared too. LOL


Hong Kong – China – Taiwan Itinerary

Departure Brisbane 20JAN08 1015 – Arrival Hong Kong 20JAN08 2015

Lodging: Dragon Hostel HK –

Some places to visit : Victoria peak, Star ferry, Ten thousand buddhas monastery, Stanley market, Ocean park, The big buddha (Lantau Island), Hong Kong museum of art, Po Lin monastery, Hong Kong park, Lamma, Pok Fu Lam reservoir, Kowloon park, Man Mo Temple, Hong Kong Railway Museum, Wong Tai Sin Temple, Aberdeen, …

Departure Hong Kong 23JAN08 – Arrival Macau 23JAN08

Some places to visit: Ruins of the Church of St. Paul. Macau Tower, City center, Largo do Senado, Macau Museum, Maritime Museum, Monte Fort, Guia Hill,…

Departure Macau 23JAN08 – Arrival Hong Kong 23JAN08

Lodging: Dragon Hostel HK –

Some places to visit: Zhu Hai

Departure Hong Kong 26JAN08 – Arrival Shenzhen 26JAN08

Departure Shenzhen 29JAN08 – Arrival Beijin 29JAN08

Lodging: Beijin New Dragon Hostel –

No.26 Shijia Hutong DongDan Dajie Dong Cheng District, Beijing

Some places to visit: Great Wall at Si Ma Tai (Mi Yun), Forbidden City, Summer Palace (Yiheyuan), Temple of heaven (Tiāntán Gōngyuán), Tiananmen Square, Pan Jia Yuan Market, Hong Qiao Market, Bei Hai Park,…

Departure Beijing 06FEB08 – Arrival Shenzhen 06FEB08

Chinese Lunar new years at Twiggy’s family

Departure Shenzhen 08FEB08 – Arrival Shanghai 08FEB08

Lodging: Yessinn, 711, Ding XI RD, Chang Ning District , Shanghai, 200052

Some places to visit: Shanghai museum, Bund museum, Yu Yuan gardens, Xian Yang Market, Zhou Zhuang Water village, Huangpu River, …

Departure Shanghai 18FEB08 – Arrival Hong Kong 18FEB08

Lodging: Dragon Hostel HK –

Departure Hong Kong 22FEB08 – Arrival Taipei 22FEB08

Lodging: Taipei House International Youth Hostel, 11F-1, No.293, Songjiang Rd. 9th

Departure Taipei 23FEB08 2145 – Arrival Brisbane 24FEB08 0830