Month: January 2005

[11:39] Roelo: morning
[11:39] ⁿ: hellooooo w
[11:39] Roelo: i knocked my fingers off this morning
[11:39] Roelo: to be polite
[11:39] ⁿ: how many you have left ?
[11:39] Roelo: and ask please
[11:39] Roelo: not funny
[11:39] ⁿ: *giggles*
[11:40] ⁿ: what do you mean that you knocked your fingers off ?
[11:40] Roelo: on your door
[11:40] Roelo: did exactly how you instructed
[11:40] ⁿ: really ?.. I didn’t heard.. I heard you talking though
[11:40] Roelo: and you did not help
[11:40] ⁿ: at what time ?.. I was awake before 9
[11:41] Roelo: also because you goto bed too late you really exhausting your body clock. i went to loo at 430am and you were still awake
[11:41] Roelo: yeah you were awake maybe 8:55am
[11:41] Roelo: I knocked at about 8:35
[11:41] Roelo: and 8:40
[11:41] Roelo: and 8:45
[11:41] Roelo: its ok
[11:41] Roelo: I just want to point it out
[11:42] ⁿ: can’t be okay if your pointing it out
[11:42] Roelo: I wont ask again
[11:42] Roelo: no you said i should be able to reckon on you for help when i need it
[11:42] Roelo: and that if i was nice about it you dont mind
[11:42] Roelo: well it did not work so i dunno what will work
[11:42] ⁿ: yeah, of course .. and I stand by that
[11:43] Roelo: well you did not respons
[11:43] Roelo: no point of me trying anymore
[11:43] Roelo: :s
[11:43] ⁿ: I didn’t heard you knock, sorry
[11:43] ⁿ: What you needed ?
[11:43] Roelo: i woke up the others knocking
[11:43] Roelo: to bring me to work it was pissing down
[11:44] Roelo: i even sent a text to your mobile in the hope that noise will wake you
[11:44] Roelo: :s
[11:44] Roelo: its because you goto bed too late
[11:44] Roelo: but that is your life
[11:44] ⁿ: weird, I didn’t woke up. usually I wake up
[11:45] Roelo: i dunno why i am upset. i try so hard
[11:45] Roelo: i did everything to your book
[11:45] ⁿ: why are you upset ? I don’t understand
[11:46] Roelo: because i can not reckon on you for anything
[11:46] Roelo: i can just as well be alone
[11:46] Roelo: then i would not even need to knock on a door for help from friend
[11:46] ⁿ: I’m sorry to hear that..
[11:46] Roelo: now you understand the distance
[11:47] ⁿ: So you think it’s my fault that I didn’t listen to you knock on my door ?
[11:47] Roelo: vicus offered to bring me in…. that is the difference
[11:47] Roelo: yes
[11:47] Roelo: because you were exhausted
[11:47] Roelo: you body clock in tired
[11:47] ⁿ: I was sleeping, like I usually do at that time
[11:48] Roelo: yes but if you went to bed earlier
[11:48] Roelo: you would have been more alert
[11:48] Roelo: ie. not in a coma
[11:48] Roelo: nevermind luis i dont want to talk about this anymore.
[11:49] ⁿ: okay, as you wish
[11:49] Roelo: i will just not ask again
[11:49] Roelo: or expect as uch
[11:49] Roelo: much
[11:49] Roelo: and RELAX
[11:50] Roelo: the guys still there?
[11:50] ⁿ: well. I hope I do something good today
[11:50] ⁿ: no, they left a while ago
[11:50] Roelo: do something good?
[11:51] ⁿ: as most of everything I do is wrong in your eyes
[11:51] Roelo: dont be afraid of me,,,, i have no hope for you so doing anything will be good. 🙂
[11:51] Roelo: its what you dont do
[11:51] Roelo: you scared
[11:51] ⁿ: expectations.. not hope
[11:52] Roelo: no I have lost hope
[11:52] Roelo: expectations is just a small part of hope

[11:52] Roelo: I just wanted to show you that you can not keep to things you said i should try with you
[11:52] Roelo: i think that is what i meant
[11:52] Roelo: that i did like you say i should
[11:52] Roelo: and not even that worked
[11:53] Roelo: even tried 3 times
[11:53] Roelo: i am saying inspect why you slept in 😉
[11:53] Roelo: and why you were so exhausted
[11:53] ⁿ: because I went to bed late?
[11:54] Roelo: i had the self dicipline to go to bed because i knew i had stuff to do in morning

Damn… Internet is not the same without . I miss him so much. It’s like I sit here and actually get bored and got noone to chat with or can’t think of anything to do .. and sadly I can’t commit enough time to Wow. So ..

But I know he’s having fun, so that’s good

Yay…… Sweet.

So… My life sucks..

Let’s see.. What I did the last couple of months. Well I moved from Melbourne to Brisbane. Partly to make Roelo happy and to sorta be with him, cause he thought it was a good idea, and also to sorta to help make a solid background if I ever need to apply for interdependent visa.

why it’s not working so far?

well.. Roelo has been getting mad at me all the time.. why? well.. let’s see.. I don’t know.. something about me not being… very sociable? I’! not sure.. I’ll have to ask ..

Chris is totally pissed at me.. He felt used and now that I left Melbourne he’s all broken hearted . I keep trying to explain that I moved for my own good..but.. is it really?

Well, I don’t know anymore.. I really can’t deal with people anymore. I don’t get upset ever, cause I just try to understand people and their feelings, but seems like people want me to change all radically to please them, and they can’t see that I can’t even please myself?

I guess I’m inconsiderate, like Roelo said.. so..what now? do i have not to be or what? :S damn.. I wanna run away.

Living by myself away from everybody was the best experience I’ve ever had in my life.

Hooooooowl….

I wish I was a dingo,
to roam free from the tie downs of society,
the be real and act on my own will and not just of fear,
a lonely dingo i wish to be,
to be free from judgement,
to focus on what matters,
to be able to walk away and leave behind what’s not worth it,
to be majestically beautiful,
while not caring about beauty,
to not have hangups about sex,
but just spread my seed happily and instinctively.

I wish I was a dingo,
to not worry about material things,
to not worry about money,
and to have always a place were to sleep under the stars,
to have a furry coat that protects me from the cold,
and a soft tongue that helps me keep cool.

But above all I wish I was a dingo,
to be able to lick my dick.

[18:53] jannex1@hotmail.com: well
[18:53] jannex1@hotmail.com: you have a came right
[18:53] jannex1@hotmail.com: cam
[18:53] ⁿ: yeah
[18:53] ⁿ: I do
[18:53] ⁿ: and it was ON earlier
[18:53] jannex1@hotmail.com: dito
[18:53] ⁿ: so you wanked watching me ?
[18:53] jannex1@hotmail.com: it was ??
[18:54] jannex1@hotmail.com: and you told me that you did not see me here
[18:54] ⁿ: i did not

[18:54] jannex1@hotmail.com: yes u did waanked whatcing you here
[18:55] jannex1@hotmail.com: wanked
[18:55] jannex1@hotmail.com: jerked off
[18:55] jannex1@hotmail.com: looking at you here
[18:55] ⁿ: good
[18:55] jannex1@hotmail.com: great body you have