Sooo.. I’m pissed, or frustrated, or just angry.. or something I dont know ho to describe. My head hurts, my ass is sweaty, I hear ringing on my ears. Can’t get naked cause my roomate might arrive anytime. I can hear the noise of a radio full blast, it annoys the hell out of me. I feel like venting, but have noone to talk with unless I want to be reminded that I’m the black sheep, different from everybody else, thus unlovable. My head is pounding, my stomach swollen, I wish I could sleep, but my brain is buzzing. I feel guilty. Told my roomate today that I have issues sharing my room and I didn’t though his stay was gonna be longer than he initially told me. I ate a burger for luch, also had a couple beers, gluten galore. I’m tired. Haven’t relaxed in a couple weeks. Haven’t slept well either. I shouldn’t have agreed to have him here if I was unsure I could handle it. My room smells different. My cough wont go. I haven’t had this kinda cough for a couple years. Why are people always reminding me of my problems? I wish there was 1 person that I could look up to. I havent been this angry in a long long time. I feel anger boiling inside of me. I’m too tired to burst though. Too tired to care. Why older pics of myself always look better than I remmebered. Remember going with kip to eat kimchee. One of those guys that are nice, but gets on my nerves. Can’t explain why. I remmeber yelling at him “Don’t Fucking Touch Me”. Sleeping pills would be so good now. Shutting off from fecal world.
Been feelling quite sick lately. Stomach ache, the flu, lack of sleep it all has taken its toll on me
last night I finally rested well
Went to LL house and helped him with some webpage isSues and as usual had a good time. Although I was extremely tired there was a point where I fell asleep on his bed. worked until like 3am and went to bed directly and woke up at noon
now it’s 7 30 and I’m quite tired
I think Im going to bed
thanks That the cough is a lot better