It’s been hard times. Lots of people and events giving me grief and tough times. This keeps happening. Even though I pull away from everything to keep the grief from getting closer, it reaches me.
I let people pressure me. I REALLY need to be able to stop that. To stand up and say no. To tell people don’t talk like that to me. To demand respect. I don’t want to yell and cause conflic, but I can’t keep on sucking up everything, it’s not healthy.
I keep forgetting how cool is Linux. Been feeling very well lately. I think i feel less pressured for stuff and that makes me feel a lot more relaxed. I enjoy being able to do what the fuck I want when the fuck I want. But don’t we all. Sadly few can.
Had a nice coversation with Peter and Belen, in two different windows and not at the same time. Maybe it’s because I feel chatty. Maybe because I love my new keyboard. It’s so easy to type in, and so silent. It was $19 and it’s one of the coolest things I bought for the pc. LOL. Well not really, but it’s where my hands are when they’re not on my cock.
Been thinking a lot about the best approach to the new stage in my life. Of course I need to work, for that I need to get the degree and for that I need to finally hand in that project. That is if I want to work in IT. I could study something else I don’t know much about (not that I knew plenty of IT, but I’m confident I’m good at problem solving and I can tackle anything) like psychology or therapy and try doing that, but I’m not kin on spending money in tuition when in a couple years I would get governement subsidy for the same tuition. I could also work in a kitchen somewhere, although I like to cook, and cooking professionally is stressfuly furfilling, I want something to challenge me mentally more. I need to keep getting mental stimuli. So, I guess goes back to IT. Okay. Coolios.
wonder if I should sleep today. I’ve been having too much fun with linux, brought back to life my gentoo from 2006. Has a new kernel already and most stuff is working, but as per usual needs ATI fixup to get X up and running, been compiling gcc for the past don’t know how many hours. Oh god, why it’s so slow..