Author: pizzaman

got a new semagic..

how come time goes so fast..
I woke up… checked the net, chatted with and then it was almost 1pm, I took a bath, and went with Tyler to the store, bought a BUNCH of stuff for all the cooking a had planned. I made..

• Baby greens with pear and rockefort
• Fetuccini with Pesto alla Trapanese
• Fresh berry tart (with included making the crust, the custard (pastry cream), and the glaze)

this took me great part of the day, came from shopping like at 3, and ended up serving at 7:30 .. and sitting on the puter again like at 9:30 pm.

Where did my day went ?

Esta es la manera de mi ex-ex-ex de hacerme un favor..

xdxdx says:
moraleja: sácate la mopa de la cabeza y luce como gente y como alguien de tu edad

no wonder why I’ve suffered from depression all my life..
he sounds like a weird mother, HEY .. just like mine

Went to the beach today, played with the dogs for hours, I’m getting such a deep tan it’s not even funny. It’s sooo kewl to go to the beach with no worries and just play with the dogs catch the ball. On the beach there is no money, no clothes, no party, no sex, no boyfriend, no job, no school, no food, no nuthing… worry free life..

I’m not sure if I have a big problem. I might be scared of showing affection towards a member of the same sex. mmm.. well.. here is the story.. on my last 2 relationships I’ve been truly madly deeply in love with my ex-ex, and completely in love with my ex. To them both I showed as much affection and love as I could, and I feel like somehow both of them got bored with it all and in the end they dumped me and didn’t cared much about it.

Also it has happened to me that some guys that I haven’t been attracted to, have fell in love with me, and all their love showing have really tired me, it feels so sticky and tiresomely sweet.. EWWW.. maybe just cause I wasn’t attracted to them, I guess.

But still I’m afraid to say I love you.. I think I will bother people and make them run away from me.

I think I have a throat infection or something, I’ve been taking antibiotics for a week now.. and the throat feels better, but i feel really blue. I think that happens when i take antibiotics.

Just saw the 4th episode of the second season of QAF, i cried, laughted, and felt many different emotions. I loved when Brian asked Justin to dance..

Hey Stud, wanna dance ?
yeah, sure
Brian grabs justin and pulls him close
I’ll make sure you don’t forget this one

Awww that was so wonderful, I was crying..

Can’t wait until I find my immensely loved bf and arrives to my heart so we can dance together.

Chatting with my interesting ex-boyfriend, he informed me about a white party in miami, in november…

http://www.careresource.org/whiteparty/index.cfm

It’s good to know what are the important things in his life.

But nevertheless, sounds kewl.. and some of the parties are REALLY close to where I am staying now.. though that will be in december, and I’m surely not going to be here at that time. Well, we’ll see..

Things I want to do ..

Get a job in the information security field maybe computer forensics
Get a place of my own that has lots of privacy, and it’s nice and comfy and has a pool
Get a car – hopefully a Rav4 or any other car that i like
Learn how to surf
Learn a lot more about information security
Cook more
Get a new computer
Play some of the latest computer games
Go to a rave
Go to a gay disco in South Beach
Maybe get a bf at some point in my life
Live in San Francisco
Live in the country in Italy, France or Spain
Have a nice kitchen with the basic tools
live close to a great market where i can buy stuff from all over the world
search the true meaning of life and find religion

.. I’ll continue to add to this as time goes by

well.. here I am ..
I haven’t written for a long time.. almost in a week.. I didn’t felt like it..
I think I’m somewhat depressed.. but I’m not sure..
I’m somewhat lethargic, but not completely..
A little bit slow, without plenty of ideas..
Trying to swim without really knowing how to..

I know that with LA i’m just latching to a past that I enjoyed. It was a meaninful part of my life, although we didn’t had much focus or thought out path, it was kewl to be with him and we had a nice chemestry that still we enjoy even if it’s for a few seconds online from time to time.

Today he messaged me again, I apologized for being kinda rude with him the other day. He was kewl about it. He didn’t cared too much, he has bigger problems now. His visa problems keep getting bigger and bigger, and now he says he feels uncomfy at his own home, thinking that his mother doesn’t want him there… well.. I’ll help him as much as I can..