I guess that I’ve always had my friends around. You know.. First the group from Montalban, after that Belen & Peter, and then Antonio, and LA and then in college Delia and my roomates.. So In reality I’ve only been alone for a little while, but it’s like in here I have NO ONE to talk with. I mean.. I can’t pick up the phone and call someone, cause I have noone to call.
Well.. like would say, stop sounding pathetic and self loathing and go out and make some friends.Geezz.. like if it was so easy. :p
I’ve never had this feeling before, but now.. that I am working is the first time I’ve felt that I am wasting my life. It’s like my life revolves around the hotel, no friends, noone to talk to, noone to go out and have dinner with, I feel trapped. Trapped in the game of working to make a living while wasting your life trying to make a living. It’s NOT a happy feeling at all. Well.. maybe it’s just that today I’m depressed, or maybe I haven’t eaten right and my neurotrasmitters are on strike.
One thing I know is that I enjoy playing with puters all day .. but this office has no windows, and the buzz from the fans from the severs’ racks make my head spin. Am I going crazy?
I’m sad …
Haven’t eaten well for the last couple of days, have this buzz in my brain going, and realized that my life sucks and that what I really want will never have. How longer do I have to wait until I sleep the neverending sleep. There is no point in filling the voids with sillyness and shallow things. Happiness is beyond my grasp and the endless pit is where my soul is trapped.
Soo…. Yesterday I went to Tokyo, and I have to say that I was VERY impressed. I’ve seen many cities so far, and I expected Tokyo to be just a little of the same, Hype here and hype there to make an otherwise boring city something interesting to attract tourists. But Tokyo was awesome. Althought I didn’t got to visit it a LOT because most of what I did was riding the subway from one meeting to the next.
The highways are amazing and so many buildings everywhere, highways and buildings, and higways going around buildings like you can touch them. The subway system is HUGE. So many different things that I don’t know where to start from. It’s funny but what makes it most different I think is the lack of ability to read everything, I can manage reading Katakana now, it’s still slow but I can.
I need to go back and stay there for a couple of days.