Author: pizzaman

I just came from the Strand, it’s a disco that is gay on sundays.. Everybody was having fun, people were holding hands, hugging, and basically having a nice time.. I hated it . 🙁 I felt really bad, tried to drink some alcohol and dance, but I just felt crappier, I came back home to cry..

I feel sad, I feel unatractive, I feel that noone will ever love me cause I’m stupid and overall a bad person. I hate it…

Captain’s Log :

Went to the councelor and then to community service today. Nothing to report. I’m just watching Tony (Hot Ben’s BF on camera) he looks really nice. They make such a beautiful couple.

There is this guy from JWU that I met at gay.com that has been very interested in meeting. I guess I should go out and meet him once and for all.

Yesterday was a rough day for me. The night before I went to sleep too late and I had trouble waking up. From all the things I had to do I had :

Leadership Class 8-9
Inf. Sciences Class 9-10
Health App 10:15
Law Class 11:30-12:30
Systems A.& D 12:45:-2:45 (Skipped Class and tried to finish homework)
Technology Appt. 3:00 (but I waited until 4:30)
Japanese 7:00-8:30

After Japanese class I skated all the way back to the dorm, there were some pretty steep downhills and since I’m not extremely good at braking yet I got scared a few times.

Last tuesday I started going to my 2nd therapist, the one from JWU told me that I should have another therapist because she might not be able to keep the regularity of the appointments that I might need, so she suggested me going to another one, but I could also keep going with her.

Japanese classes…

Tanaka-san no kaisha no denwa-bangou wa nanban desu ka
たなかさんのかいしゃのでんわばんごうわなんばんですか。

会社　-　kaisha
電話ｙ – denwa
番号 – bangou
何番　- nanban

I haven’t been writing a lot lately. I’m doing okay though. Yesterday I went out with Anne, Barbara, Sheldon and Puter. We went to a straight disco here in Providence, called Strand. I had a Bacardi before going out and then drank a Smirnoff Ice while I was there. I had a nice time, I danced enough. Anne is very nice with me, she hugs me and talks to me a lot. I like her. After the disco we went to a pizzeria and had some slices of pepperoni pizzas.

My skates boots finally arrived today, these are the right size though. I like them a lot, and hopefully I will not embarrass myself going to classes skating. I have skated very little during my life. So I still have to learn how to do it well enough.

My first japanese class was on wednesday the 2nd, I got there really early and I started talking with this cute japanese guy. He happened to be one of the teachers, but not the one who was going to teach my class. My teacher ended up being this american guy, he’s very nice, also you can tell he doesn’t have a lot of experience teaching, I find him to be extremely nervous. I hope that when a couple of classes pass by he will feel more confortable teaching us.

Last week I started going to the gym again. I felt really well, and my mood hasn’t lowered yet. It’s friday and I feel fine, I should go to the gym today too or at least skate for a while to do some exercise.

Also last week I was very worried about how I will arrange all the classes I need to take so I can graduate within the one year perioud I want. Since I have so many transfer credits from so many different periods of the career sometimes it’s hard to arrange them correctly, now that I’ve gathered all the necesary documentation hopefully next week I’ll be sure of what courses I need to take.

I got a cyber boyfriend, his nickname is cupid and he’s from NYC, we’ve been talking for a couple of weeks now and he’s very sweet. He seems to have very rooted priciples and values and that is something I am really looking for, although I barely know him. He’s also very cute, not the kind of guy I am used to date but he’s very cute anyways.

As I started the week and got into the routine again it made me feel better. I went to classes, worked out, ate, everything was better today.

In the afternoon I was worried that Anna (a girl from Panama) is not feeling very well, cause she feels a little bit lonely, so I invited her for a coffee, we talked for 2 hours and we talked about many things including relationships.. While we were talking she was refering to my ex, and she said.. “and what did she.. ?”, I interrupted and said “he”. It was fun cause the flow of the conversation was never interrupted, hehehe… It’s the second person in the University I come out to.

Yesterday Jon (my great friend from Miami) told me that his boyfriend might probably have pancreatic cancer. That sent me over the edge, and I started crying, I cried for a while and then fell to sleep.. I needed it

I told Anne and Sheldon that I am gay. Sheldon didn’t said a word, but Anne didn’t believed me.. heheh

Crappy weekend.. felt down all weekend..

09/27
I’m bored.. I ate too many peanuts. I don’t want to complain. I want to go to the gym. It’s raining too much.

09/29
It’s 9:30 am and I’m already bored, maybe it’s something in the water. Probably a deep omphaloskepsis will help.

Today everything went well, I finished all the tasks I was supposed to do today. Well, almost everything, I couldn’t go to the Japanese course, because I misjudged time, and I when I called to registrer for the course it was already 6pm, although I didn’t knew they would close at that time. I was able to ship my boots so I can get a bigger size, I did well in my SA&D exam, and I got the grade from the LEIB exam I got an 86, it was quite good I think.

It’s already late, I kinda postponed making my Leadership assignment until the last minute but I think it ended up alright. Today I also made an appointment with my 2nd psycologist, hehehe.. I’m becoming a case study.