Month: May 2003

Was I depressed yesterday ?… cause today I am too.. I feel

Posted on by pizzaman

Was I depressed yesterday ?… cause today I am too.. I feel sick.. I hate this feeling wish it would go away. I feel like crying, but I don’t know what to cry about. Tomorrow I’m going to my weekly meeting with my shrink. She’s kewl. She doesn’t know me that much, it would take a LONG time for she to know me well enough.
I’m gonna miss her when I’m in Japan.

Can’t even sleep as well as I used to .. It’s too unconfy here (roomy issues).. Hope I get a nice place were to stay while I am in Japan. If not, it will suck. It doesn’t have to be a huge place, I just want privacy.

My heart aches, can’t breath well.. I feel dizzy and my throat hurts, i feel like about to cry, but the tears don’t come out. Damn I don’t like this feeling at all, *sigh*.. and I have to carry this shit everywhere I go…

Went with joey to play pool, had a nice time. Gee… I wr

Posted on by pizzaman

Went with joey to play pool, had a nice time. Gee… I wrote this yesterday and never posted it.

Today.

Missed class because, I went to sleep late. Due to many reasons, but due to the fact that my roomate is annoying I’ll blame it on him. He goes to sleep at 4 in the morning, and of course him making noise all night long I can’t sleep well and wake up all tired.

I’m sad/pissed off today, even though I went to Boston and didn’t do anything special, besides giving all the paperwork for the japanese visa. Have to pick it up on friday.

Read Harry Potter all the way there and back .. I was having fun.

Why I get the feeling always that people are pissed off at m

Posted on by pizzaman

Why I get the feeling always that people are pissed off at me cause I did something wrong. Maybe cause when I was a child, I was always the culprit of everthing back at home. Damn childhood. That’s the ultimate vengeance for putting us in this planet, we, as parents, fuck the brains of our children to make them disfunctional and unhappy.

Thanks god that I’m as gay as a 3 dollar bill !!

YAY ! for gayness !!!

BOOO for ignorance and supidity and nasty son of a KAGFDGDJASGDKSAGHSAGDKJSGIOYPY#&*(^&*

Joey wants me to call him, I’m not very used to be calling p

Posted on by pizzaman

Joey wants me to call him, I’m not very used to be calling people all the time. It’s my nature, if he expects me to change that he’s very mistaken. Not because I don’t want to (although that’s part of it), but it’s just that I am like that and I don’t care to change.. (gee.. I sound like my first boyfriend) .. … mmm …

Thinking this over.. the only reason why I don’t care to change is because I’m not in love.

Re:

Posted on by pizzaman

My roomate is so annoying. He…

  • Touches me all the time, even though I say “DON’T TOUCH ME”, he keeps on doing it.
  • He’s talking to me all the time, DAMN, I AM BUSY. LEAVE ME ALONE.
  • Asking me all the questions about everything like I was 411.
  • Making noise, and STUPID SOUNDS like whistling, DAMN how I hate people that whislte, I think it’s the most annoying and stupid thing is the world. Whislte = “I am here, see I can invade your brain if I want to” . He’s yelling, and making sounds all the time.. dammit
  • Always leave something floating in the toilet, DAMN.
  • Moves the bathroom carpet from it’s place, EVERY SINGLE DAY.
  • SMOKES in the bathroom, DAMN I’m beggining to HATE smoke smell, I think it’s NASTY and YUCKY.
  • Of course has his BUCKET where he puts his dirty clothes and fills it with water and leaves the DAMN thing in there for a month, of course, it smells PUTRID.
  • He says that I am sensitive, OF COURSE I AM FUCKING SENSITIVE YOU BASTARD, YOU ARE MESSING WITH THE COMMON FUCKING ENVIRONMENT (Air, water, sound).
  • Of course he owes me money and makes silly comments every time I fucking ask him to pay, but of course doesn’t pay me shit..
  • and now he expects me to give him all the stuff I’ve bought that I won’t be taking to Japan, HA !!! FUCK YOU !!! I’d rather throw them away.. of course, unless you pay me for them, then you can have them.
  • Ohh yeah.. he has this sponge, he NEVER squeezes is and he leaves it behind the faucet, so every FUCKING DAMN time I FUCKING turn the FUCKING faucet I end up toching the YUCKY DAMN SPONGE.
  • Fuck when I go to sleep, and he sees that I have my eyes closed, he still talks to me … FOR CRYING OUT LOUD, I AM FUCKING SLEEPING, LEAVE ME ALONE

let’s see…

yeah.. venting.. 🙂

Feels VERY good ..

, I feel you ..

Dilema!

Posted on by pizzaman

I don’t understand, what I see is not what I hear. On one side I hear anger and resentment, on the other side I hear a cry for help. But, seems it was not like that always… what is what I can’t see? what part of this I don’t understand? is this even my problem? can I help ?

Of course people hurt each other, it happens all the time. But .. if I get hurt does that gives me the right to hurt others back, specially people whom I say I love. I don’t think so, love for me is one pure thing, LOVE. And love is not about being hurt or hurting, is like mother’s love, LOVING no matter what. No matter what shit is thrown to your face, purely and simply loving with so much energy and so much desire that everybody everywhere will know FOR sure that you love, not because you say it so, but because you feel it with every inch of your body.

Don’t FUCKING HURT !! DAMMIT !!

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