Well.. I’ve been feeling really crappy lately. This has lead

Well.. I’ve been feeling really crappy lately. This has lead to telling Joey I don’t think I can handle the emotions a relationship will bring to me. I don’t wanna hurt anybody, I don’t wana get hurt. And I think that I’m going to, so I better cut this and stop from dating him.

Damn, depression is an evil monster I can’t fight.

Why can’t I be normal like everybody else, be happy and have fun… and don’t hurt everybody in the process (including me)

This is my first try to do a calculation on how many times I

This is my first try to do a calculation on how many times I’v had sex :

Boyfriend #
1. No anal

2. 80% b 5 times a week for 2 years
52 x 6 =520–> 80% –> 416 bottom/104 top

3. 100% b 4 times a week for 1 year
52×4= 208 bottom

4. 50% 50% 3 times a week for 3 years
52×9=624—> 50% –> 312 bottom/312 top

total 936 bottom/416 top

I’ll talk with my ex’s and revise the numbers


Today went to SURA (Korean & Japanese restaurant close to Thayer street) with my roomate. Ate Bean Curd Geegae (Yiguee) with tofu and shrimp and octopus, it was very good. Had a pancake similar to Pajeoun, but with maju bean and green onions dipped in a a soy sauce dip with sesame seeds and green onions (very good, although I would have added sesame seed oil to the dip to go for the whole asian experience). I ended up being so full I had belly aches.. but it was well worth it .. Yummm !

Sunday 30th We didn’t went out on Sunday because I went an

Sunday 30th

We didn’t went out on Sunday because I went and visited my friend Delia. We started going out every single day thereafter. We talked about ourselves and the things we liked. We barely kissed or touched each other, we were still overwhelmed about what happened on friday. It had been too much to handle in too little time.

Thrusday 3rd

All thought we have been going out almost every night that week, I have classes so I had to go to sleep pretty early. Thursday night we went to the movies and saw View from the top and Dreamcatcher, I specially liked Dreamcatcher. After that we went to Dave & Busters where I found that they sell various kind of beer, I got a Samuel Smith’s and he got a Paulaner Hefe-Weißbier and interesting food, Shitake and boursin pizza with sundried tomatoes. After a while there we decided to find a spot where to make out, so we drove around and found the perfect spot close to thayer street, it had a nice view of a clock tower and the darkness of an unlit street.

Session Start (AIM – authorpizzaman:tylr777): Sat Apr 05 12:45:12 2003
[12:46] tylr777: hey there!
[12:46] AuthorPizzaman: hey !!
[12:46] AuthorPizzaman: How are you !?
[12:46] AuthorPizzaman: I thought you both were away
[12:46] AuthorPizzaman: *hugs*
[12:46] tylr777: jon missed ya last nite…!
[12:47] AuthorPizzaman: ya, sorry … Joey was pushy to go out !.. but I wanted to stay and chat .. !
[12:47] tylr777: tell me more…jons gettin his hair cut now!
[12:47] AuthorPizzaman: so he ended up saying we’ll only go out for a while, but that was 8~10 🙁
[12:48] tylr777: so….hows life with joey…u never finished the story bout the other nite! =-O
[12:48] AuthorPizzaman: yeah.. I know.. I never continued after the pizza and the driving around to make out !
[12:49] tylr777: but it sounded great!
[12:49] AuthorPizzaman: we found the perfect spot, with a view of a church tower and a dark street.. and we changed to the back seat
[12:49] AuthorPizzaman: and we started kissing
[12:50] tylr777: sweet 🙂
[12:50] AuthorPizzaman: and he took his shirt off .. and I thought, oh my .. this is going to be hot
[12:50] tylr777: car got a good heater?
[12:50] AuthorPizzaman: so after a while I was the one hot, and i took my sweater off
[12:51] tylr777: this is gettin better all the time……
[12:51] AuthorPizzaman: we had the heating on while we were driving, so there was enough heat left, plus the one we were producing
[12:51] AuthorPizzaman: did you checked the web page I sent ?
[12:51] AuthorPizzaman: it’s weird ! 🙂
[12:51] tylr777: not yet….one sec…keep the story going!
[12:52] AuthorPizzaman: so .. I took off my sweater and then he pulled my shirt so out chests were in contact and we could feel each other’s flesh..
[12:53] AuthorPizzaman: and then .. the next thing I remember is buttons getting opened,and pieces of clothing flyign around
[12:54] tylr777: how kewl !!! u sound like ryan now! :):):)
[12:54] AuthorPizzaman: Oh my !! .. Now I’m scared
[12:54] AuthorPizzaman: I sound like Ryan !!
[12:54] tylr777: i was just kidding….hehe
[12:54] AuthorPizzaman: hehee.. !!
[12:54] tylr777: actaully, he always sounds real good to me….
[12:55] AuthorPizzaman: I am too !!.. (kidding) .. I do admire him very much !!
[12:55] AuthorPizzaman: I wish I was more like him !
[12:55] tylr777: hehe……..
[12:55] tylr777: back to the car!
[12:55] AuthorPizzaman: really !.. I love him very much .. he’s a god ! .. I’ve told him many times..
[12:56] tylr777: hes a real easy guy to love, thats for sure……
[12:56] AuthorPizzaman: yup..
[12:56] AuthorPizzaman: well.. so .. back to the car.
[12:57] AuthorPizzaman: so he started licking my chest and nipples and then my bellybutton .. and i was wonderfig what he was going to do next
[12:58] tylr777: yummy!
[12:58] AuthorPizzaman: so he kept on going down and licking my bellybutton and love trail .. and I was so hard it was aching
[12:59] tylr777: thats hot when tooooooooo much blood gets relocated!
[13:00] AuthorPizzaman: at that point out cocks were already in the air cause we’ve been rubbing our bodies together and toching and rubbing a little but
[13:00] tylr777: more and more yummy all the time!
[13:00] AuthorPizzaman: but our pants were still on out ankles so he stopped and pulled them completely off..
[13:00] AuthorPizzaman: mine and his .. !!
[13:00] tylr777: hes kewl! i like him already! 🙂
[13:01] AuthorPizzaman: so were nakkid inside the car on the street.. butt nakkid.. !
[13:01] tylr777: maybe it needs curtains?
[13:01] AuthorPizzaman: so he goes back to the licking and grabs my cock and goes totally for it.. was amazing.. I saw fireworks !
[13:02] AuthorPizzaman: I was drooling, I wanted to taste cock.. I’ve turned into an animal and I wanted to suck… but I was still wondering if I should or should not..
[13:03] AuthorPizzaman: so I left him work on me for a while, while i was debating on wheter i should go for it or not
[13:03] AuthorPizzaman: i was moaning like a inmate on heat
[13:03] tylr777: hehe……..
[13:04] AuthorPizzaman: we kinda relocated our positions a few times, but he was still working on mine, he did a very good job .. he a natural ! .. he didn’t got tired and really hit the sweet spot ! ..
[13:05] AuthorPizzaman: *giggles*
[13:05] tylr777: he sounds great! a real prodigy like ryan says…….
[13:06] AuthorPizzaman: while he was sucking me, i was rubbing his cock and getting the hang of handling a cut cock.. I’ve seen very few of those in my life and it’s been a LONG time since I’ve touched one..
[13:06] AuthorPizzaman: so I was kinda relearning how to handle it ..
[13:06] tylr777: hehe……..
[13:06] AuthorPizzaman: Wow.. !sweet !!…. hehehe.. hope his butt is aching !!
[13:07] AuthorPizzaman: I love when my butt aches a few days after getting a really good fuck !
[13:07] tylr777: the bj part was what was best………hehe……..
[13:07] AuthorPizzaman: so… after a while of tossing and turning… I thought.. well.. now or never !
[13:09] AuthorPizzaman: so .. I kinda pushed him off my cock and let him sit down .. and I kissed him on the lips.. and i started licking his neck and chest and nipples..
[13:09] tylr777: kewl!!!
[13:09] AuthorPizzaman: while holding his cock .. and rubbing it a bit
[13:10] AuthorPizzaman: and then i started to go to his belly and bellybutton .. and I found his cock on my way …
[13:10] AuthorPizzaman: and I started licking it ..
[13:10] tylr777: salty?
[13:10] * AuthorPizzaman blushes
[13:11] AuthorPizzaman: tasted REALLY good !
[13:11] tylr777: i bet!
[13:11] AuthorPizzaman: hehehe.. heheh.. and well.. I went for it..
[13:11] AuthorPizzaman: hehehe.. and I thought about you a few times while doing it !! hehehe
[13:11] tylr777: im getting better all the time…….
[13:11] AuthorPizzaman: cause of the deepthroating conversations…
[13:12] tylr777: jons been great inspriation
[13:12] AuthorPizzaman: he’s not too long or wide, so it’s kinda easy to get most of his cock in my mouth.. but when I want to go really deep , is when i started gaggin ..
[13:13] tylr777: i know that real well…..ive almost completely fixed that……
[13:13] tylr777: joey sounds like just the rite size……….hehe
[13:15] AuthorPizzaman: i got it full a few times, but still i had the gag reflex..
[13:16] AuthorPizzaman: yeah.. he was (osrry my roomy was talking)
[13:16] tylr777: that reflex is hard to get rid of….
[13:16] AuthorPizzaman: he was concerned about his size after he saw mine.. but I think his size is great
[13:17] tylr777: to me this whole thing bout big dicks is bs……hehe….everything should be proportionate….!
[13:17] AuthorPizzaman: so we went on it a for a loooooong time..
[13:18] AuthorPizzaman: several times he was about to cum, so he kindly told me and I was able to stop doing any stimulation
[13:18] AuthorPizzaman: 🙂
[13:18] tylr777: perfect…u guys are doin great
[13:19] AuthorPizzaman: hehhe.. we were at it for a long time, but I was really sleepy .. so we kinda stopped and just hugged..
[13:20] tylr777: sweet
[13:20] AuthorPizzaman: and after a while i was almost falling asleep … wow.. I’ve been wanting to sleep with someone for the longest
[13:21] AuthorPizzaman: so after a while he said somethign about if I wanted to go home cause i was tired.. but I felt like that’s not right ..
[13:21] AuthorPizzaman: So, I started kissing him again .. and I got all recharged suddenly !.. *giggles*
[13:22] tylr777: excellent!
[13:22] AuthorPizzaman: yah.. it was very cool !.
[13:23] AuthorPizzaman: at that point I was laying on my back and he was on top .. and I think i was handling both cocks.. *giggles*
[13:24] AuthorPizzaman: mm..
[13:24] AuthorPizzaman: I’m thinking about what happened next ..
[13:24] AuthorPizzaman: mmm..
[13:25] tylr777: just go for it…dont worry bout me….hehe
[13:25] AuthorPizzaman: well.. he was on top .. and he was kinda moving, and i was kinda stroking myself a little ..
[13:27] AuthorPizzaman: and I was kinda spread out *giggles* .. and he brushed his cock around between my cock and asshole 🙂
[13:27] AuthorPizzaman: wow.. then I got scared *giggle* ..
[13:27] AuthorPizzaman: hehehe.. 🙂
[13:27] tylr777: mmmmmmmmmmm………yummyer and yummier…….
[13:28] AuthorPizzaman: but he wasn’t going to do anything, he was just playing around.. I’m glad, cause i’m not sure i would’ve been able to stop him
[13:28] tylr777: no way i coulda stopped him, and i dont even know him!
[13:29] AuthorPizzaman: that kinda threw me over the edge.. and i spurted two globs of cum that reached my neck !! .. and them he cummed all over my chest and belly too..
[13:29] tylr777: KEWL!!!
[13:29] AuthorPizzaman: was hot !!.. my cum came out great.. I was very proud.. two really dense globs totally white 🙂
[13:29] AuthorPizzaman: *giggles*
[13:30] tylr777: this is a great story!
[13:30] AuthorPizzaman: he kinda layed there for a lil while and then grabbed a tissue and wanted to clean me .. and i said, don’t clean anything, i just wanna lay here with you
[13:31] AuthorPizzaman: and we hugged and kissed
[13:31] tylr777: thats really sweet!
[13:31] tylr777: :):):):):):):):):):):):):):):):)

Lately my life has changed. What I used to do everyday I hav

Lately my life has changed. What I used to do everyday I have little time for lately. I still need want to do it though. But someone new has entered my life, suddenly he appeared, I was expecting him for a while. He brings new feelings to my life, feelings I haven’t felt in a long time.

Thursday 27th : 2 – 4am

I was chatting on gay.com and suddenly a guy messaged me, I tried to look him up in the master channel, but he wasn’t there. Seems that he saw my profile and messaged me.

We chatted for a few minutes, because he wanted to go to sleep. I was tired too, but in those few minutes something between us clicked. I enjoyed talking with him and saw that he was a smart and interesting person.

Friday 28th : 2pm
We chatted again for a while during the afternoon, it was a very nice chat. I was going out with Delia to the mall, so we said goodbye. I thought about calling him since his phone number was on his msn messenger mobile. He was very surprised and asked me how I got the phone number, he was gladly impressed. We talked about chatting after I came back from the mall.

I arrived from the mall and Delia’s roomate had received a call from Joey. I got excited and messaged him thru the msn messenger mobile, a few minutes later he was calling me. He asked me if I wanted to go to Mirabar with him, to which I said a definite yes, although I had to go back to my dorm and get ready.

I went to my dorm room to get ready, got on my tight new red pants with NO underwear and a nice t-shirt and black jacket, and headed to Mirabar. He told me he was going to be at the door at 11 pm, so I arrived there on time, but I looked around and noone was at the door.

I looked around and I saw a guy who fit his photograph and description talking with another guy. But since he had told me he had no friends in Rhode Island, I was wondering who the guy was, and I have to confess I got a little bit aprehensive, cause I thought he might be a liar.

I stalked him for a few minutes and finally after not being able to make him notice me, I decided to approach him. He was resting his arm on the bar, so I went in between him and the guy he was talking to and placed the empty glass of the vodka I was drinking in between them too. And I just stood there, just in the middle, looking directly at his face. It took him a few seconds to realize who I was and the overall expresion on his face was excitement.

I introduced myself and told him that I’ve been there for a while and I’ve been stalking him and wondering who was he talking to, cause I didn’t wanted to interrupt. He told me just a guy he just met and after a while the other guy just left and we started talking about us.

After a while we started dancing and it was fun, and after the second vodka we started dancing a lot closer. I had a HUGE boner the whole time. It was very erotic. It felt like only us were in the dance floor and nothing else mattered, it was a very interesting and exciting experience.

After a couple hours in the bar he asked me if I wanted to go to another place to grab a coffee or something to which I replied “definitely”. It was pouring outside, we ran towards his car, jaywalking in front of a police car, while he was running in front of him i started at his butt for a few seconds. We reached his car breathing heavily and headed for some cafe shop he knew about. When we reached it, he asked me if I wanted to go inside, but I asked him to stay in the car for a while before going in, it was pouring and I wanted to chat with him for a while.

We started talking about a lot of things, about this and that. Plenty of stuff I can’t remember now. I couldn’t stop staring at his face and wanting to kiss him. I was very energetic and felt very attracted to him, for a moment while he was talking I wasn’t listening, I was just thinking “kiss me, kiss me, …”

Finally the first kiss, sent electric shocks throught my whole body. I couldn’t believe what a great kisser he was, we just clicked perfectly on the way we kissed.

Joey’s addendum: Our first kiss was in the bar, I tried to kiss you and you pulled away, but then I just kissed you on the cheek. and then I wanted you to kiss me on the cheek but you said not on the first date. I said “just on the cheek” but you refused. then less than a minute later I guess you reconsidered and leaned in to kiss. so we kissed on the lips. quite nicely at that might I add

We started kissing passionately. I had been with a stiffy for a while now. We kissed for a long time, until I pulled him on top of me, now we were kissing one on top of the other. I was getting hornier and my stiffy was almost bursting out of my pants. I need to feel his warmth against my skin so I pulled up his shirt and mine, that way I could feel his skin against mine, feeling his warmth was throwing me over the edge.

Every movement was bolder than the last one. Rubbing our bodies together, our hands kept going to our chests and bellies, and with each movement the got closer and closer. Finally our pants were open, one laying on top of the other, our cocks pressing together, rubbing, touching, leaking. We were going too fast, too fast for our first date, I kept on thinking, but my body was reacting diferently, I didn’t wanted to stop it i wanted it to flow as smoothly it was been flowing. Suddenly, he was going to go for it, he started licking my tits, and then my chest, and he kept on going lower and lower, I really wanted it to happen, and i felt a brush of his chin on my cock. I shivering with excitement. A brush of his tongue. Finally we went for it, got a hold of my cock and sucked on it, only for a few seconds, then he changed his mind, kissed me again, and changed to the driver seat and turned on the car. We had crossed the limits of the first date.