So… Even though I’m single, totally unattached and not looking because of many reasons. Including I suppose I haven’t found someone good enough to replace the Idolatrous image I have from my ex boyfriends, lately I’ve been faced with a few small challenges on that area.
I guess the first one is my ex-ex going back into the game. Although it makes me feel good that he’s back to himself, the egotistic, materialistic, horny, sexual predator maniac he has always been. It still saddens me the simple and unequivocal fact that “it wasn’t me”. I feel so much idolatry for him that It’s really hard to wipe from my mind the question of, am I not good enough?, even if it’s silly and not something that has any real base on truth, because you cannot expect someone to feel something for you when it’s just not there. Even if you’re the ugliest or the most gorgeous guy on earth. But oh, well, I guess I’ll have to live with that.
It makes me feel good his life has been boosted as long as his ego and he’s feeling those things that he has felt so few times in his life. I haven’t really talked with him much about it, and usually when I talk with him, most of the questions I do ask are focused on the sexual part (guess I’m a perv too, sue me) but I hope things are riding along well as so is he.
Guess I have to move on because that train is never gonna stop in this station. But, then… what am I expecting?