I made this for a special friend in his 18th birthday

Hey God,

Find me a boyfriend… !! and while you are at it please scroll down
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.HAPPY BIRHTDAY

I just have to nod
and also applaud,
cause it’s very odd,
what happened today,
sorry if I cod,
but you reached the pod,
where you can all sod,
every next day.

And it’s not to taunt
but no more l’enfant,
cause now you can haunt,
with your mighty rod
and even be flaunt
so guys that are gaunt
all flee with daunt,
in front of the GOD.

luv you loads,
Luis.

Hope you have the most awesome birthday.

PS. So I mispelled birth.. KILL ME !

Hablando de mi ex : [17:33] *¨(8) ¨* Anything but lonely

Hablando de mi ex :

[17:33] *¨(8) ¨* Anything but lonely *¨(8) ¨* : coño…. si el [LA] piensa que amistad es acostarse con él[LA], está como chiflao
[17:33] -> Pizzaman <-: y porqué dices eso ? [17:34] *¨(8) ¨* Anything but lonely *¨(8) ¨* : lo digo por todo el entorno que ha tenido el que conosco! [17:34] *¨(8) ¨* Anything but lonely *¨(8) ¨* : por eso lo digo Luis... 🙁

Sillyness…

[14:40] -> Pizzaman <-: having silly relationships.. just to fill in the void [14:40] -> Pizzaman <-: like all the straight people in the party i went yesterday.. [14:40] [scak] --> like a stone: I don’t want silly relationships
[14:40] [scak] –> like a stone: I want and will have him
[14:40] -> Pizzaman <-: it was sooo depressing [14:40] [scak] --> like a stone: whatever it takes
[14:40] [scak] –> like a stone: he’s the one.
[14:40] -> Pizzaman <-: i had to run away from there [14:40] -> Pizzaman <-: it was awful ..people so stupid and unhappy [14:41] -> Pizzaman <-: focusing their lives on work, cause their love life is pathetic [14:41] [scak] --> like a stone: I know people like that
[14:41] [scak] –> like a stone: I know
[14:41] -> Pizzaman <-: like there was this guy.. who must've been on his 60's already [14:41] -> Pizzaman <-: he was with this japanese girl who was like 25 or something [14:42] -> Pizzaman <-: and she started following me around everywhere.. [14:42] -> Pizzaman <-: and the guy noticed it .. [14:42] -> Pizzaman <-: and i was like ..tragame tierra [14:42] -> Pizzaman <-: y despues la tipa andaba toda borracha [14:42] -> Pizzaman <-: hablandome de cualquier cosa.. [14:42] [scak] --> like a stone: que tal
[14:42] -> Pizzaman <-: e invitandome a Tokyo.. [14:42] -> Pizzaman <-: wow.. me despedi.. y literalmente sali corriendo.. [14:43] -> Pizzaman <-: me asquie de la vida que la gente tiene.. yo no quiero eso [14:43] -> Pizzaman <-: 🙁 [14:43] -> Pizzaman <-: SUCKS ASS !!

[12:53] -> Pizzaman <-: PERO .. ahi está el problema.. [12:5

[12:53] -> Pizzaman <-: PERO .. ahi está el problema.. [12:53] -> Pizzaman <-: yo estoy esperando por Luis Antonio [12:53] -> Pizzaman <-: nunca he querido decir esto.. [12:53] -> Pizzaman <-: pero es verdad.. [12:53] -> Pizzaman <-: estoy esperando que un día me llame y me diga.. quieres volver.. [12:53] [scak] --> like a stone: well…then I have 5 years of waiting
[12:53] -> Pizzaman <-: y NO hagas tu lo mismo [12:53] -> Pizzaman <-: cuase it sucks

Wonder dream!

Last night I had the awesomost dream ever. I dreamed I was walking down a park with RYAN !!!, he’s this really nice guy I know online. And suddenly there was this building, I commented on the shape of it, but I don’t remember what i said. and when we got closer to it, it was the Museum on Natural Sciences, he had fun makin jokes and hanging around the museum, and afterwards the dream became hotter. We were going at it, and he was cumming, and someone came in the room, but now I can’t remember who it was. He looked real, like a person.. I’ve never seen a pic of him, but looking at him in the dream made him a lot more real.

It was very nice to have a friend who to hang out with. I miss that a lot.

Yesterday my boss asked me that he was thinking about keepin

Yesterday my boss asked me that he was thinking about keeping me for a whole other year. I said it was a nice compliment offering me to stay, and it makes me feel good cause it shows I was doing a good job. I said that my plans were to go back to the US and work there for 1 year, cause I wanted to get the experience in USA. But also I know that in here I will be just stuck doing the same things over and over, and I think that in a month I’m ready for a change 🙂

Soo.. today the General Manager invited me to have lunch, an

Soo.. today the General Manager invited me to have lunch, and well.. I am so naive .. I thought he was being nice. I really hate when people are nice just because of some reason. Like when people treat you like shit, but they give you a present of your birthday. FUCK YOU and STUFF THAT PRESENT UP YOUR BUTT. geee.. seems there is a lot of anger trapped inside me.. so well.. back to my story … he invited me to have sushi and started asking me about how I’ve been doing so far, and well.. I was answering about life and socialization and all that silly crap that noone cares to listen to but I still think that people are asking because they care. Well.. he listen to what I was saying and told me some advice about life and about doing things when you are ready and not taking greater challenges than you can acomplish and I totally agree. well… to make the story short he offered me to stay in the hotel for one year. I said I’ll think about it, but I am looking forward to work in USA.

Let’s see my current mood is.. I’m doing fine, and I’m also sad and happy and bitter and calm and electric and sleepy and cranky and hopeful and hopeless and crushed and brokenhearted and horny and dirty and …

Update: My boss has always been nice with me and all. mmm.. I guess sometimes I’m just full of bitterness for no reason, well.. I’m fucked up, what would you expect.

Deepression Time !! Weeeeeeeeee !!

Last night I cried myself to sleep. Tears were wetting my pillow. I was very sad, because I’m very hurt. Still, after two years I am very hurt and very lonely. I was thinking “please stop the pain”, and suddenly for the first time in my life I thought about death as a possibility. Maybe it’s an alternative to my unhappiness. After tossing and turning all night, I managed to get some sleep. Not without the usual nightmares about my ex telling me this or that sexual adventure he had. Almost two fucking years has passed, but still, he’s not the source of my unhappiness, although he has added inmensely to it.

I can’t blame him though, he was just trying to find his happiness, and people do that all the time. Was his ways special?, did he hurted me in a incredible different way?, did he abused me physically and mentally? NO !.. I don’t think so, or at least not to a greater extent. He’s just a stupid SOB, trying to manage his life, as everybody does, and on the way taking advantage of others that are more stupid than him.

The thing you need to know is that when you deal with someone’s feelings it’s a very fragile situation, becuase you never know for sure how sensitive or not the person you are dealing with is. You never know how much emotional damage you might leave after you suddenly feel that you don’t care about the relationship anymore.

It’s a very confusing ambivalence that I feel, the trying to understand people and their actions and the suffering and pain that they convey.