Month: February 2003

I like to dream. But not to get nightmares. Lately Ive been having nightmares every night. Most of them about Luis Antonio. Recurring ones. Or with things in common. Like this gold chain he has in my nightmares. and the neighbor he’s cheating with. damn

FUCK YOU!

Again today I talk with my ex, and again I get depressed.

Well, I am happy that my puter is kinda working again, although I lost all the data I had recolected in the last 6 months. Although it might not be that bad based on my theory of data recycling.

the·o·ry :
A set of statements or principles devised to explain a group of facts or phenomena, especially one that has been repeatedly tested or is widely accepted and can be used to make predictions about natural phenomena.

Data in a hard drive cannot be kept forever. Thus hard drives automatically die, preventing you to run from space and keep lots of outdated data.

I’m back online.. minus 20 GIGs and 5 months of information that wasn’t backed up
🙁 !

Had a major Hard Drive crash, I will try to fix it as soon as possible. But seems my computer is gonna be out of service for a couple of days at least.

I went to the movies tonight, I saw Final Destination 2 and The Recruit. I liked em both. But the main thing is that I was laughing hard in Final Destination 2, and I enjoyed being happy and having fun. It was soo kewl to feel myself having fun. I want to have fun more often, I want to enjoy that part of myself.

I gave $1 for Cystic Fibrosis, they gave a pin with the same of a heart. I gave it to Delia and asked her to be my valentine, she felt really kewl and surprised and hugged me and kissed me and that felt really sweet.

I’m saying the word sweet a lot lately.

Tonight I saw two faces of the same coin. A relationship. On one side, a relationship that seems perfect, my friends Ryan and Justin from NYC. Planning their sky trip, and basically on function on how are they gonna express love for the other and what special things are they gonna do for the other, and how much the other will like the place and thing like that, basically thinking a lot about the other. Why their relationship is working?. Well.. I’m not sure.. I’m not there, but they basically seem to be interested about each other. It’s like each other is the most important things in their lives, although they don’t forget about the other parts of life.

The other side of the coin? Antonio and Kuma, their relationship seems to be un balanced, and I get the feeling it’s from a lack of priorities. For one the most important thing is the other, but for the other, although he seems to love the one, seems like he doesn’t treasure his mate. Seems like pride, lack of respect and bad attitudes have eroded the relationship.

This morning I chatted with Luis Antonio for a while. I enjoyed the chat.

Gee..
Last week I was kind of worried about the fact that I have been “forgetting” my appointments with my shrink, and well.. we kinda discussed about it and she said I was showing some resistance, because… who know… well..

Today, I haven’t been feeling very well, so I kinda was going to sleep and started to think about the day and suddenly remembered “WOW.. Today is wednesday”. I should be on japanese classes. I “forgot”, first time in 4 months that I miss a class.

Why.. well.. not really sure… but maybe the fact that last class there was a new student, which I didn’t knew and because of that I felt really weird and unconfortable in class.. so in the end, maybe I didn’t wanted to go and was avoiding it ?