It all started at 7pm, I went to Luis Luis home, picked him up and went to the rave. Very good party, lots of dancing, lots of very interesting people. It was very very enjoyable night, i had very good chemestry with Luis Luis and we enjoyed the night very much. We ended up staying until 9 am. The music was great. I thought about Luis Antonio many times during the party, I thought that I could’ve enjoyed more of our relationship.
I wanted to make clear that my depression is not something new. I’ve remember being depressed as early as elementary school. But the episodes I remember mostly are when I was in highschool. Things went very wrong when I was a teen and I was sad most of the time. I’ve been having this recurring depression thought all my life, and this has stopped me from enjoying completely most of the things I’ve done in my life. With time it has only gotten worse and worse.
Luis Antonio is not guilty for me being depressed. It’s the way I handle things and the cognitions (thougths) I have. Instead my depression has been one of the main causes of the failure of my relationships. I am tired.. I will write more tomorrow