—————– Original Message —————–
Date: Dec 25, 2007 7:20 AM
Wow… Hello Bruce, I’ve been wanting to talk with you for sooo long. You don’t know how happy you made me by replying to my message. There are so many things I want to tell you, that I just don’t know where to start.
As I told you in a previous message I have been, what I consider, a good friend of Nate for a long time. I’ve seen him grow up in many ways, stumble, get drunk, sad, depressed, happy, hopeless, joyful, you name it. All this throught the magic of internet. Our friendship started one day when I was reading a post he made in an online forum, he was very depressed. I replied and said I was his fairy and I was going to help him out of his sadness. Throught the years I kept my promise and we’ve shared sadness and joy many times.
About you. Bruce. You don’t know this, but I had the biggest crush on you ever since Nate told me about you, a few years ago when you guys first met, and because of that I knew you were perfect for Nate. At that point I never understood why Nate didn’t went forward with a relationship with you. So now, when you guys started talking back, and Nate told me you were having problems with your ex, I knew it was the perfect opportunity for you guys to have the perfect relationship and so I suggested Nate many times to pursue you as a boyfriend, which I’m very happy he did.
I know you guys were having communication problems. I know where the problems are coming from and I have a few ideas on how to solve them, but they are hard to solve. Because they need faith, not in god, but in each other. Nate is a good guy, I hope I can tell you one or two things about Nate’s personality. Maybe I don’t know him in person, but I know his brain thru the magic of internet. I know you are very scared of being hurt and betrayed, last time I was betrayed left me a scar and I haven’t had a boyfriend ever since, 7 years ago.
Honestly I can tell you Nate is not that kinda guy. He honestly wants to make things work with you. I know this. Although he needs freedom to be happy, and not freedom to cheat on you, that’s not what he’s looking for.. and you could ask, How do I know this? It’s simple, he wasn’t fucking around before he met you or before he was in a relationship with you, he has always been a guy looking for love and a stable relationship, so what he needs this freedom for? To be independant, to decide for himself, not feel trapped.
Really I understand you. I understand your fears. Nate is a wonderful guy, and you might feel afraid of losing him or maybe afraid of being hurt, or even afraid of being wrong. I’ve been there. My ex-ex, we’re still friends, and he always said that I was his policeman, because I filtered his friends, his emails, who he chats with or not. Overtime this caused him to feel trapped, he felt deprived of his freedom, (which he had before I became him captor), and eventually he ended up cheating to prove to himself he could do whatever he wanted. Sadly you can’t be everything for anyone. I wish you could, but people need others too.
I also understand that you might have suspected. You might ask yourself, “Why is he hiding things from me?”. “Why he doesn’t tell me everything”. Well, I’m sure he does tell you a fair bit, but always there are things we keep to ourselves. For example what Nate and me chat about. He might not have told you that when we chat, we chat about you two. About the relationship, about how to improve things, about his own fears and about how he feels. It’s normal, he is afraid too, and he needs to vent, he needs advice, he needs friends. I am sure you understand this, because you have friends too.
Well, I think this message is long enough as it is. How can we get to talk? Do you want me to call you? Do you use any IM? SMS ? Homing pigeon? Please let me know.
I miss Nate a great deal, please let him know.