Amazing how I can get stressed even without leaving my room. Today was a normal day like any other, play CSS until 9am, wait until Charmed goes to Uni, go to bed… it was after that when it got complicated, but let me explain.
I had told to call me if he was coming or not, you know just to know if he was going to come, he was supposed to visit, (it’s been due since.. well, who’s counting), and well.. he didn’t .. I expected that though, but I guess I get hopes up that he’s coming, even though is most probable that he’s not, and in the end I get disappointed, and it feels real bad. He’s been busy and stuff so, I guess I understand, but I wish he would follow thru on those little things. That raises my obvious self dubious questions, am I being too needy, am I calling too much, am I bothering ?.. that’s a question that has followed me throught all my life.. Am I bothering?.. I’m sure I don’t know where it comes from, messed childhood I suppose, but I’ve always been told I don’t call people at all, but… well… @^#!@*#&!@ MMMHHHHHPPPP !!!! COME SOON ! 😀 *giggles*
That single event stressed me out the whole day, and (I’m not writing to complain to you Mr. , I’m writing to let if flow for myself, cause my LJ has always been for myself) made me feel a lil bit uneasy. But that was just a little bit of what was expected, at around 8pm I received a call from Leo.. okay this is complicated, Leo is my ex-ex’s ex ex-boyfriend and he’s also my ex-ex’s ex-boyfriend as well … he called and had a sorta weird voice, even though it was the first time we spoke on the phone it was obvious he was distressed. He mentioned that (his ex), had been to his place last night, he was severly medicated (sleeping pills or something, seems it was more than 30 pills altogether) and had been acting like a lunatic, telling him how much he loved him and imploring him back. As he put it, he was acting like a crazy person. Seems left with him his cellphone and his keys, and told him that his mother had kicked from their home. Seems they had an argument and then left, at 5 am went back to Leo’s home and started yelling, and left. Now it’s been a whole day and noone knows where is, and I’ve had this knot in my stomach ever since I heard the news. I hope he is alright.