Month: August 2003

I was checking my flight info for miami.. and my flight is going to do a Layover in ST PAUL, MN !!!!
I”M GONNA MEET BEN !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
*DANCES AROUND*

well.. I’m still full of anxiety cause I’ve been running around all day.. and kinda got scared that our network will be infected with the MSBLASTER, but did not.. 🙂 WOOHOO !!

Also .. on other news.. today my boss called me on the phone “come to my office”.. and I was scared.. and he handed me an envelope with 50,000 yen !! WOW.. as a gift so I go around Japan for sightseeing..

On other news.. the guy I met in Makuhari.. YEAH THAT ONE *sticks out tongue* *rolls eyes* ..send me a letter, inside … a Japan Rail Pass, so I can ride ALL the trains I want in Japan for free !!! WOW.. I was soo amazed.. that’s worth 30,000 yen !!

Also .. I got notified by my boss today, that he changed my plane ticket, from 24th to th 23rd, and now I’m flying directly to Miami, that way I will save some $$.. so .. today .. I saved $1000 without moving a finger.

When my boss gave me the envelope my voice kinda cracked, i was very excited and impressed, like .. i don’t know.. i guess usually i expect the worse from people, maybe people in Venezuela are like that or something, but I’ve met so many nice people around.

soo.. like.. yesterday I went to a public pool with saito-san, one of my coworkers, he’s the one who has gotten the closest to me. He stops by at my office almost every day and always offers me cigarrettes. He’s really nice with me. They wanted to invite me, among other things so that their children have contact with gaijins like me. That will make them more confortable to speak english. I had loads of fun at the pool, I felt weird sometimes though, I was very concerned about my looks, mainly because, well.. japanese guys specially teens & early 20’s have GREAT bodies, wow.. I was amazed, like 0% fat. And well.. I’m kinda slim, but I have my fat deposits here and there, so I was kinda concerned about that, also I was concerned cause well… I bought this swimsuit in New Orleans, and it’s kinda tiny, not speedo type, but more like hot pants kinda type, and well, I’ve always been shy, so I had a very strong debate in my mind on wether to wear them or not. Also my hair, i mean .. I finally (after 30 years) learned how to kinda keep it under control, but well.. NOT IN A POOL , so .. hehe.. i kinda looked like a lion (as saito san said) .. I guess I never overcame when I was a teen and other people in school used to tease me about my looks, like they would try to find any small detail (good or bad) and make me suffer with it, and while I was there I never learned how to fight back, for me .. the worst years of my life have been many, and among those were the 5 years of highschool.

Geez.. I totally forgot that LJ existed, I’ve been reading other’s posts but haven’t posted much. I’ve been very nervous cause I was asked to work at the lobby and I’m extremely shy with people I don’t know.

First, I don’t welcome anyone to the hotel cause I don’t fucking care if they stay here or not, second, I don’t wanna fucking smile cause i don’t fuckin feel like fucking smiling 😀 !

Enough ranting, BTW.. I’m getting fat .. I weighted like 59 yesterday .. I’m off to read harry potter and eat more chocolates..

Listening to talk about his ex, i could only think about this song:

Queen
You Don’t Fool Me

You don’t fool me
You don’t fool me…
Da, da da da dah
Da da da dah
Da da dah…

You don’t fool me – those pretty eyes
That sexy smile – you don’t fool me
You don’t rule me – you’re no surprise
You’re telling lies – you don’t fool me
Mmm, mama said be careful of that girl
Mama said you know that she’s no good
Mama said be cool, don’t you be no fool
Yup bup ba ba ba ba da da da dah!
You don’t fool me
You don’t fool me, you don’t fool me
She’ll take you
You don’t fool me, and break you
You don’t rule me, you don’t fool me
You don’t fool me, she’ll take you
You don’t fool me, and break you
Sooner or later you’ll be playing by her rules

Baby you don’t fool me, yeah
You don’t fool me, you don’t have to say ‘don’t mind’
You don’t have to teach me things I know
Sooner or later you’ll be playing by her rules
Oh, (fool you) oh, (rule you) she’ll take you (take you)
And break you (break you)
Yeah

Mama said be cool
Mama said she’ll take you for a fool
She’ll take you, and break you
Ba ba ba ba bap bap ba baah
La la la la la lah
You don’t fool me
You don’t fool me…

——-

Why there is a sadistic need from people to break others. Use them and abuse them until they are broken. We knew this, we knew it was happening, one had to win, one had to loose.

Can people be so evil? or people just act from their own ignorace. Can’t they see the pain that they are inflicting? or once the seed is planted, there is no turning back.

——-

quix·ot·ic
adj.
Caught up in the romance of noble deeds and the pursuit of unreachable goals; idealistic without regard to practicality.
Capricious; impulsive: At worst his scruples must have been quixotic, not malicious (Louis Auchincloss).