Fuck you, you son of a bitch.. Eat shit and die. !
on another set of ideas..
[18:10] -> Pizzaman <-: no sé.. queria llamarlo.. pero no se si lo ladillo ..
[18:10] (*) Cösmic (*): no... sabe que no.. o deberia saberlo....
[18:10] -> Pizzaman <-: sabe que no lo se
[18:12] -> Pizzaman <-: :S
[18:12] -> Pizzaman <-: a veces pienso que no somos ni amigos ya..
[18:12] -> Pizzaman <-: que todo eso se lo llevo el palo de agua
[18:13] (*) Cösmic (*): nooo señor eso no es asi...
[18:13] -> Pizzaman <-: yo siempre lo voy a querer mucho..
[18:13] (*) Cösmic (*): y yo a usted...."
de verdad que lo quiero mucho... sueño con estar con él ..
How beautiful is to be intimate with someone you love, I’m lucky to have had that many times in my life. The passion, the happiness, the magic of all it. How romantic, just finished watching 2nd episode 2nd season QAF.
Soon I’ll be happy…
I’ve never told anybody this, and i’m not totally sure where it comes from. But, just today, I realized that I must be pretty fucked up. I was watching the 1st episode of the 2nd season of Queer as Folk (finally), and I saw you know the normal sex scenes that appear in there, well.. everytime i see something like that, in queer as fold, in a porn, on the street or whereever immediately I think about my ex. Like if he was there, doing that. I know it sounds pretty fucked up, and it’s not like if I’d wanted to blame him for those things. It’s just that .. I suppose, that will all the cheating, and all the irrespecting the did towards me, I got traumatized somehow. Those ugly memories don’t leave me. They are awful and cause pain, I wish I’ve never been thru those, and I can’t understand why I stood there and took all that.
I must really hate myself a lot, to be able to hurt myself so much, so often with my memories and my fucked up brain…
A few weeks ago, I chatted with him, he sounded bitter, he was saying something like how people were only interested in sex or sumthing, and that he became just like Brian, don’t giving a fuck about people or sumthing, not sure what he refered to. It scares me so much and it causes so deep impact everything he says. I keep thinking about his words over and over, like if they were really important, but they are not. They are just some sillyness from a 20-something guy who’s lost in a silly world. He’s just nothing, cause we’re all nothing.
With all the changes in my life I feel kinda weird, I’m feeling much better today though. I miss my room and my privacy. I miss being able to be nude the whole day. Or to sleep if i wanted.