Heading back

9:00 am
In reality at this moment I was sleeping in the plane, in a kinda of unconfortable way (sitting straight), woke up at 4:30am to catch the flight from Ft. Lauderdale that will bring me to Boston.

10:00 am
Well, here we are @ the Washington airport where I am doing a stop before heading to Boston, to later take the train back to Providence. This were a very interesting two weeks, I did plenty of things, met new friends, got a nice tan, cooked a lot of yummy things, and also got to spend two days with my best friend Belen and her husband at Ft. Lauderdale too. It was a very drastic change from staying with Jon & Tyler, for whom life seem to go at a more calm pace. Belen and her husband were a lot more hectic, consumist kinda behaviour. It’s nothing that I criticize, in reality, but I’m just pointin out the drastic change.

Jon & Tyler’s experience was very uplifting, enlightning and normal. They’ve always lived outside of the gay lifestyle, although they have been gay longest than anybody else that I know of.

12:15pm
Well, just got to Boston, now I need to stay here and wait for the “Bonanza” bus that will take me to Providence, I wanted to take the train but I’ll have to take the subway to the train station and my bag is too heavy for that kinda walk, I rather wait an hour for the bus (1:30pm).

Since I ran out of aminoacids a few days ago while I was in Jon & Tylers and I didn’t found any on the pharmacies I went to I resorted to buy St. John’s Worth. I’ve never tried it, and so far so good I’ve only been taking it for a couple of days and I haven’t been feeling too bad. The first day I took them, at night I had nightmares, I don’t think they are related, but just a coincidence, the evil subject in the nightmare was Luis Antonio of course, who else.

I don’t really remember the nightmare at this point, I think it was the usual he cheating on my in front of my face, but that happened in reality anyways.

Gee.. I wonder if I’m bitter after all this, from time to time my postings seem to focus on him, like lately, after the breakthrough in my analysis of the past.

Well, since I have an hour to kill before the bus arrives I’ll just keep rambling here.

What about my mom. I didn’t said merry xmas to her, I didn’t said happy new year. Well I guess that all those common sayings most of the time don’t mean anything, they are not really special for me. Unless they mean something in particular, or I’m specially thankful or things that happened. Well, I guess I’m very thankful to her for being way out of the norm, for being a special person that has her own personality and doesn’t fit and tries not to in the society that surrounds her, yes, that’s amazing .. I know… but also has isolated me, learning those patterns of behaviour from my parents and not teaching me when I was a child how to deal with other people have isolated and have made me partially a shy person. I know now I’m old enough to find out what patterns or behaviours about myself I don’t like and I would like to change but it’s not as easy as it sounds, actually it’s way more complicated, because at least for me have taken 30 years to find that I had depression for example, well, I just don’t know, I guess I’m slow.

I wonder how the mixture of aminos and St. John’s Worth is going to work, cause seems that the latter helps in reducing the breakdown of the neurotransmitters, and the first are the building blocks of them, so maybe It’ll be a nice combination.

4:16pm
Just got to the dorm room from the trip, damn bag was too heavy, already hooked and chatting left and right…

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