Somehow my reaction with Peter was some sort of window to many things, I feel that since he’s my friend but he’s not “everything in my life”, I could talk and rationalize better than how I could talk with for example my ex boyfriend.
When you care in an out of porportion way about someone else, you tend to react in out of proportion ways when problems arise with that person, and if that person doesn’t care about you in an out of proportion way then that person is not going to understand your out of proportion reaction. I wonder if I am like that. Although I know I was very patient and understanding with Luis Antonio.
Geee. I need to go, it’s getting late, and I’m supposed to go to Mediterrano with Luis David…
Wow… Peter’s aggresivity today was completely out of proportion. I understand that probably I made a mistake telling him that his ex told me something I can’t tell him. I understand that might have made him be extremely confused and paranoic. But in no way I am going to let him insult me or treat me without respect.
All this makes me wonder, am I irrational and insultive when I go beserk?. Am I a person who you can’t talk to ? Am I completely irrational when I get angry ? Do I make a situation less serious because I make fun of what people say in order to remove value from their opinions?
Today I acted very mature in our conversation. I explained my point of view, telling him that I was aware that I’ve made a mistake. But I deserved respect and consideration, and in no way I was going to let him treat me like an animal.
This is something I should always remember “suicide is a permanent solution for a temporary problem”.
While I was chatting with Peter, I made some comments about the things I deserve from my friends/relationships. This is a work in progress, I guess.
[17:20] -> Pizzaman <-: #1 Necesito respeto de mis decisiones, opiniones y acciones. Espero consejo más no obligación.
[17:21] -> Pizzaman <-: #2 Necesito respeto a las personas que me rodeen. Que te caigan mal no quiere decir que son pajudos o pajudas.
[17:22] -> Pizzaman <-: #3 Necesito respeto hacia mi persona. El uso de palabras como Mama(X) o hijo de (X). Es un abuso de confianza, y degeneran en un envenenamiento de la relación.
[17:23] -> Pizzaman <-: #3a También el Coño de (X) se incluye en el articulo anterior.
[17:24] -> Pizzaman <-: #4 Te brindo mi apoyo y amistad, y trataré de ser fiel a los principios que consideron se en los cuales se basa una amistad del tipo : mejor amigo . Numero 1 en la escala de amistades de Luisito.
[17:25] -> Pizzaman <-: #5 No espero nada a cambio de brindarte mi amistad. El solo verte feliz, me llena el corazón y el espiritú de gozo y regocijo.
[17:27] -> Pizzaman <-: #6 Los niveles de amistad que te brindo son basados en los niveles de amistad de Luisito, y solamente en ellos, los cuales son producto de años de experimentada amistad y de relaciones diversas con personas de todos los ambitos y rubros de la vida urbana.
As he arrived, he left, somebody called me when we were in the middle of the discussion. And while I was talking on the phone he left. I hope he doesn’t do anything stupid, and I hope he knows I’m his friend. I don’t know whether to run and catch him and give him a hug, or to just wait and let him cool off. I can’t be someone’s friend when that person puts my friendship in jeopardize because a stupid thing.
I’m bad bad bad…. I almost forgot that I have a Journal. What a great day today, I woke up early, went to they gym with Enrique and I really got the urges to start doing something else besides eating badly and sitting in front of the PC the whole day. I can’t wait until I go to the University in two months, I need to start doing something now, so I decided to join the gym and keep on working on getting my papers together so I get accepted to the U so I can start going to college again. So well, I will join the gym for the next two months, that way when I leave I will be energetic enough to withstand the shock of having to go to college. I still need to pay attention to the admission requirements and I STILL NEED TO FIND OTHER UNIVERSITIES so I have more options on where to study. I don’t think it’s gonna be THAT hard to join Johnson & Wales University but hey, still I better make my bet safe and find other options.
Thanks to Steve I found out that Safri Duo is doing today a performance in a straight disco, it’s only $10 so I think it’s a great opportunity to go out one day and do something different. I told Luis David, Update [17:32]: ‘s gay brother and it’s probable that I am going to go with him, although I could go with anyone or by myself I found it nice to go with him, also because he knows about Safri Duo too and he got all excited when I told him they were in Caracas.
Peter is STILL extremely pissed off at me, he was telling me very nasty things today. I think he blew all this totally out of proportions, but well, I’m trying to stay calm with all this. I know he needs support on this, but, I’m a human being too, and I think I deserve some respect. Gee .. I never though writing a diary could be so much fun, and the best part of it is that I won’t have my NOSY MUM reading it, cause it’s.. waaaaaaaaay out of her league.