Day: June 13, 2002

I just arrived, I was at Peter’s making the Tabouli, finally. I bought some babganouch and pita bread so we had a nice dinner. I still feel like if I had no energy though, but at least I got to go out for a while.

I guess today is my depressive day, I feel like crying and I don’t know why. I feel trapped. I’m still working on having everything ready for college, but I still have to wait until I have all the necessary documentation to send everything, and I’ll have to wait until July for one of the U’s to be able to give me those documents. I feel like that’s the most intelligent path to take at this moment. I’m sorry for the things I did wrong. I wish I knew better

Finally I too a bath, I still feel slow and clumsy, haven’t eaten yet. I’m gonna go to Peter’s house and make some Tabouli for both of us, he has been asking me to prepare some for a couple of days and we haven’t had the chance yet. Still need to buy some green onions and mint though.

That’s one point I totally agree with Luis Antonio, I take too much time to make decisions and to produce results, especially when I feel like I feel right now. It’s not that I feel that there’s no point in doing anything, I just feel like if there was no energy inside my body ( I wonder if it’s because I haven’t eaten anything, not even water since yesterday’s afternoon ). Am I punishing myself ? or it’s just that I’m so used to this that I feel like if I couldn’t change it.

I talk and talk and talk, since last night at around 11pm I’ve been talking with different people and besides that, I slept, that’s all I’ve done. I haven’t bathed, I haven’t eaten, I’ve talked. How much of all those things I say and people tell me do really mean anything or really change my perspective of the world?.